Dublin: 2 °C Sunday 27 September, 2020

13 times masculinity was so, so fragile

*pats masculinity on the head*

1. When men were like, “We don’t have time for jojoba beads — we want a face wash that’s made from soil and worms, thank you very much.”

2. When regular old body wipes didn’t sufficiently get rid of all the sweat expelled from a day of being a manly man that they had to invent “dude wipes”

CaQNkKNUMAAKV9D Source: Vagentleman Jack/Twitter

3. When men were so sick to death of watching movies that didn’t feature shoot-outs or a man with a gravelly voice, that they got a movie channel just for them.

4. When men decided that regular old yoga didn’t allow them to unleash their inner Hulk Hogan as much as they would like, and conceived of “Broga”.

5. When men were like, “I like chocolate and all, but sometimes I just wish I could eat, like, a chocolate hammer.”

CYUsSwvUsAArcEc Source: Anya Crittenton/Twitter

6. When a man stopped outside a pub loo and were like, “That little man symbol! I need to stick that in the middle of my well-worn copy of Fight Club.”

CYUKzjUUkAASPig Source: Elizabeth Flux/Twitter

7. When men wanted their hand sanitiser to be ~dark and mysterious~ like James Bond and this was born:

CYKI4ZcWAAEW-Lh Source: Alexa V/Twitter

8. When regular old toothpaste just didn’t cut the mustard or give their teeth that manly fresh feeling.

9. When men were worried that celebrating their birthday might cause them to grow a vagina, so they stuck the word “Man” in front of it.

Ah yes, that’ll do it.

10. When men just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that they might like a pink phone and invented a new colour.

11. When Kanye West sent this tweet.

12. When men needed their chicken noodle soup to pander to them and tell them how brave they were for having the sniffles.

“The Company For Men That Matter”

CZpYTL4WkAAV9Nc Source: Niamh McNally/Twitter

13. When men wanted candles that reminded them of manly activities like cutting the grass, drinking beer, eating rashers, watching golf and fighting in war.


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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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