BREAKUPS ARE HARD – no one knows that better than Love Island‘s Megan Barton-Hanson.
She’s been fairly open about her experience with trolling and anxiety in the fallout of her breakup with her fellow LI contestant, Wes Nelson.
He has, for the most part, remained fairly shtum about the break up, beyond posting a screenshot of a Dublin Business School Instagram ad to his story. DBS ’til you died, I guess.
Listening to Megan’s voice crack as she revealed a cheeseboard with hers and Wes’s names engraved into it (yeah, I don’t know either) on her Instagram story left me with a familiar sense of dread that only comes with a breakup.
So, I decided to ask the gals from DailyEdge.ie and TheJournal.ie about the post break-up advice they’ve ever been given:
“One, don’t pick up the phone …”
Might be harder given that both Megan and Wes’s jobs revolve around social media and they’re now bound together by the ties of reality television, but the first port of call should always be deleting your exes’ number.
No contact is the only way you’ll ever feel better!”
However, if you need closure or a chance to have your say, don’t be afraid to seek it. You might feel better after, but approach cautiously.
Just say yes!
I had a year after a really bad breakup when I decided I would just say yes to every invite I ever got and it was one of the best habits I ever developed.
I ended up going on holidays I’d never have usually gone on with people I’d never have gotten to know, trying new hobbies like surfing, went to music festivals for the first time and had loads of firsts, something I still try to live by!”
Take the good with the bad
Evaluate the relationship as a whole, rather than just the bad (if they were) last few weeks/months – it likely was worthwhile overall. This can help with the ‘did I waste x years?’ worry you might feel.”
Timing is everything
Obviously, Megan’s reaction is understandable given how raw the situation is (she announced their breakup on Saturday via the standard Insta Story statement.)
It’s important to give these things time, and understand that the people who love you want you to take as much time as possible.
You will feel like punching people when they say it takes time. But that doesn’t mean they’re asking you to rush that time; allow yourself that time.”
“Here come the girls …”
If you found yourself neglecting your mates slightly during your relationship (not sound, but it happens!), you can be left feeling bereft when that relationship ends. Now is the time for Megan to rally the troops and look at how she can rebuild and strengthen her female friendships.
I think you can come out of a breakup sometimes and be like omg I really let my friendships suffer and I’ve no real support system now.
I’ve some incredible women around me now as a result and I think it makes my relationships with partners a lot healthier because I know they’ll always be there even if relationships won’t be.”
True that.
Seriously though, don’t pick up the phone
A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend of four years and found that she would get these pangs of missing him at times during the day/right after work when she’d usually be WhatsApp-ing him about something funny or just giving him a call for a chat.
So another friend volunteered to be her go-to for those times. She was like, ‘If you feel like texting him, or calling him, just text me, and I’ll reply instead’ It was very sweet but also very effective and got her through the really tough first few weeks.”
F*ck what people think!
Again, significantly harder when you’re in the public eye, but it could prove very freeing for Megan.
My best friend was in a long distance relationship with a guy in and they were REALLY full on, then it just ended and she was like ‘people are going to think I’m so stupid’. I had to remind her a few times that most people aren’t even thinking about her or her relationship, because people are selfish beings. And even if anyone was judging it, fuck them.”
Get acquainted with the ‘mute’ button
You can mute Instagram stories and posts now, so be sure to mute all of the other party’s friends. You don’t wanna see them in the background of someone else’s story if you’ve got them deleted or muted on everything else.”
Putting the moves on
If you can’t even bare to think about kissing someone else for six months, that’s totally OK and you need to move at your own pace.I hate when people are like ‘get back out there you’ll feel better’ etc, you know yourself and shouldn’t feel pressured to move on if it’s likely to make you feel worse.”
You’re absolutely allowed to wallow
In fact, I would almost say it’s a requirement, for however long is necessary.
Don’t feel guilty/pathetic for wallowing. It’s okay to just want to sit in eating crisps and watching rom coms and doing a general Bridget Jones for a while. Sometimes you need that to heal.”
Now everybody say ‘love’!
Because self-care is the best care.
Remind yourself daily of the things you’re good at and the things you love. Those things are always there for you.”
Find things that you enjoy. Even when you’re sad, you can enjoy certain things.”
