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Dublin: 11 °C Thursday 21 February, 2019
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5 Facebook buttons we need immediately

The Sympathise button is old news. Here’s what Facebook REALLY needs.

FACEBOOK HAS REVEALED that it has developed a ‘Sympathise’ button to replace its Like button in certain circumstances.

The Sympathise button would allow users to express sympathy with statuses where clicking Like might seem strange – for example when the status is negative. However, Facebook has no plans to roll out the button in the near future.

Frankly, any regular Facebook user will know that there are other buttons we need FAR more than Sympathise. Here are some essentials:

1. Cool story bro

For use on those unbearably bland statuses that express nothing at all. “Such a long week. Roll on Friday!” Uh, cool story bro.

2. Dislike

For use when someone either (a) posts a photo of food they’ve cooked that looks disgusting, or (b) is getting a bit above themselves. “Just hanging in the Grand Hotel Swank, about to have dinner at Chef Posho McNotions.” Whatever.

3. U ok hun?

For use on those anguished “Can’t believe some people, u kno who u are” posts. And the inevitable follow up when asked who they’re talking about: “Can’t say here, will email u xox”.

Also when anyone checks in at a hospital without an explanation, for the flood of sympathy questions.

4. Spellcheck

Will put a glaring red line under any especially mortifying spelling or grammar errors in that person’s status, to save you passive-aggressively correcting it underneath.

However, overuse of the spellcheck button on other people’s statuses should be penalised in some way. Perhaps by embedding a P for ‘Pedant’ on your profile picture.

5. I can’t take it any more

When you have reached the absolute end of your rope, this would alert the ‘friend’ that their constant moaning/bragging/baby photos have irritated somebody to the point of unfollowing.

Anonymously, so they’d never know who it was. Useful for those people who are sound in real life but appalling on Facebook.

What buttons would you demand from Facebook? Let us know in the comments…

Read: The 7 most annoying people in your office this December>

More: Might Facebook add a ‘sympathise’ button?>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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