Dublin: 12 °C Friday 14 June, 2024
Don't Wake Me Up

10 things you can relate to if you're not a morning person

You’re just tired all the time.

WE ALL KNOW that mornings are absolutely terrible. You have to get up, get ready and go to work all without murdering anyone.


Here’s 10 things that make morning the absolute worst.

1. Leaving bed is hard

There is no better place than bed. It’s warm, it’s cosy and you don’t have to deal with anything when you’re in it except the odd nightmare. Quite frankly having to leave bed in the morning is an infringement on our human rights.


2. Nobody wants to eat breakfast that early

Getting up at 6.30am means eating at 6.45am and that is unacceptable. Cereal is awful, porridge is stodgy and attempting to cook a fry up when you’re that tired could result in an incident. Breakfast might be important but it’s also the worst.


3. Coffee doesn’t wake you up

Sure when you have one coffee at 4pm, it will keep you up all night but where is coffee when you actually need it? Sitting there in your stomach NOT keeping you awake. And if you don’t have it you get a withdrawal headache. You cannot win.


4. Dublin Bus Real Time Information is your enemy

The bus says it’s due in 8 mins, then 6 mins, then 10 mins, then 6 mins again. Then it disappears never to be seen again only to reemerge 10 mins later as it sails by you because you were too busy checking Real Time to see if it came back.


5. And once you get on the bus anything anyone does annoys you

‘Why did he snuffle?’ ‘Why did she look at me?’ ‘Why are they talking to loudly?’ ‘WHY IS THERE SO MUCH TRAFFIC?’


6. You cannot understand how people are happy this early

How can anyone be smiling at 7.30am? Don’t they have any idea what TIME it is? It’s so inconsiderate of them to ruin your bad mood with their happiness. MADNESS.


7. When you get to work all you want to do is go back to bed

How can anyone be expected to work in the morning? Why can’t be do what they do in Sweden and have 6 hour work days and start at 11am instead? THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL.


8. There is no better feeling then turning off your alarm

Is there anything better than freeing yourself from that dreadful alarm tone? The answer of course is no because it means more sleep!


9. Anyone who disturbs your weekend lie in is dead to you

When you’ve had a whole week of getting up early, that lie in is utterly sacred. Disturb me at your peril because hell hath no fury like me being woken up before 9am on a Saturday.


10. And then you’ve to set your alarm on Sunday night and do it all over again

Life just really isn’t fair is it?


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