CUT MY LIFE INTO PISCES
— snddoɥ ʞɹɐɯ (@markhoppus) October 24, 2017
JUST READ MY HOROSCOPE
A LOT OF us love a good horoscope. We know that they might not be fully truthful or even accurate but it doesn’t matter. We know in our hearts that our horoscopes are important to us and if we have a bad week at least we can blame it on them.
Here are 14 tweets you can relate to if your horoscope is the most important thing in your life.
1. Need to make an important decision? Ask your horoscope
*trusts daily horoscope with important life choices*
— whoopi goldfish (@sianvconway) February 27, 2016
2. You’re always proud of your star sign no matter what
Don’t believe in horoscopes but take mad pride in being a Scorpio for no reason what so ever
— Niamh Whelan (@niamhhartwhelan) March 25, 2018
3. You can justify nearly anything using a horoscope
Horoscopes are always telling us not to make rash decisions but what if I want to??
— Lin Diesel 🔪🦀 (@Bubblenoma) December 15, 2017
4. Feeling crap? Blame Mercury or literally anything in space
Me: lol horoscopes and spirituality are the biggest load of shit
— 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔯𝔢𝔫 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔢 (@infinityonhi) November 14, 2016
Also me: the supermoon is making me depressed
5. It can be very important for assessing your crush
When I was a teenager I'd read my horoscope and then my crush's horoscope to see if we'd get together that week. We never did.
— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) July 30, 2017
6. Very important
My horoscope says it’s not gonna work out between us
— Stephanie (@myname_is_steph) March 5, 2018
7. You can combine horoscopes with literally anything
i just downloaded an app that tracks your menstrual cycle & gives you daily horoscopes based on it because that's who i am as a person now
— sarah griff (@griffski) December 21, 2016
8. They can make your entire week
my horoscope said id get good grades a job a spiritual awakening and also a relationship soon so any takers hmu
— "finn" (@sneaic) March 22, 2017
9. And if you don’t like it, you can always read a different one
Although if I don’t like what one horoscope says I can just read the other one which is good
— 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔯𝔢𝔫 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔢 (@infinityonhi) November 3, 2017
10. Everything can be a description of your horoscope if you try hard enough
This gin description sounds like my horoscope. pic.twitter.com/blyJZsDeDo
— Rachel O’Neill (@ronronzo) January 14, 2018
11. You will try to get everyone on board with your obsession
I know nothing about horoscopes, but I'm growing increasingly concerned about how often people cackle 'typical Libra' at me.
— Kate (@Bed_Forever_) May 22, 2017
12. Although sometimes the obsession does go too far
me: I am feeling a little sick
— that girl u muted (@shnaideo) March 12, 2018
brain: maybe we should go to the doctor
me: I think I might...
brain: oh great!
me: ...check my horoscope and see what's up
13. But all in all it’s just a great excuse to not do something if you don’t want to
my mind is telling me no
— halloween tinsel (@motlinebling) July 9, 2017
But my horoscope
My horoscope
Is also telling me no
14. But most importantly we can all agree, we’re not Libras
Me - doesn't believe in horoscopes
— Meg (@mollyfinn_x) September 17, 2016
Also me - what the actual fuck I'm a Scorpio not a LIBRA
