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Explainer: Here's why one-sided man-thongs are the worst summer trend of all (NSFW)

The swimwear fashion you were hoping would never happen.

Warning: NSFW images below

IF YOU’VE BEEN online even a little bit over the last few weeks, you may have seen some frankly disturbing images of a new variety of male beachwear.

This is the half-thong, or what we’re choosing to call the one-sided man thong. It’s a thong that is, well, only half a thong.

Here’s the front:

Source: Inderwear

And here’s the back. Basically, it’s a loop of flimsy elastic around one buttock and your junk.

Source: Inderwear

The half-thongs have been around for a couple of horrifying years. But they got a huge publicity boost when The Only Way Is Essex cast member Bobby Norris and his fella Harry Derbidge were pictured sporting them on holiday in Marbella.

Suddenly, everyone was talking about them. They even crossed the Atlantic to attract the attention of showbiz mega-blogger Perez Hilton.

Here’s the Google search chart for people looking for ‘one sided thong’ over the past 30 days:

There’s also another variant – the ‘C-shape thong’, which doesn’t even loop all the way around a buttock. Instead, it has a bendable wire (AGH) which you essentially contour to your um, well, crack.

Source: Underware Store

Here’s a gentleman jumping up and down to prove that they really DO stay on.

Source: Arthus Maillard/YouTube

(As you will have noticed, a major problem with all of these items is that they are not very good at covering what they’re supposed to be covering.)

So what are people who actually own these items saying about them? Let’s head over to Amazon for a few reviews of JQK’s Mens Sexy Bikini:

Tiger Shark Robert was intrigued, but had some constructive criticism:

This to me was a very interesting concept. the fit however still needs some work. in the gronial area there needs to be more structure for this to sucessfully fit around your penis and scrotal sack. when you put it on it fits over said area and then creeps away exposing your junk.

Kyler provided some personal details:

after some time maneuvering it, it does fit almost as picture. However I found that since I go to the left, it fits better inside out, as going to the right provides more resistance or grip almost, wish they made the strap in different directions.

Kevin was pleased:

I wore this as swimwear on a thong wearers weekend, and it drew a lot of attention. Many of the people there had seem photos of one sided thongs, but had never seen one in person. This suit made a major splash, and I will be enjoying it for some time to come

But doug maloyed was not.

the front would not stay up need to rethink this product
would not be repurchased

So there you go. If you’ve seen a one-sided man-thong in the wild, we hope you’re OK. Please get in touch and let us know how you feel.

More: What are ‘spornosexuals’ and why is everyone talking about them?>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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