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oscars 2013

PICS: What the men of the Oscars were REALLY thinking

While everyone looked at the women’s dresses.

ALL EYES ARE on the women at the Oscars.

The frocks, the glamour, the Mani-Cam. The people who looked like runny tarmac on a hot day.

Meanwhile, Hollywood’s men – save for the occasional bearded Adonis – slip by almost unnoticed.

But we have gained exclusive access to the inner minds of Hollywood’s finest males. Here’s what they were thinking while Jennifer Lawrence was stealing their spotlight:

PICS: What the men of the Oscars were REALLY thinking
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  • Tommy 'Goddamn, I Think I Left The Immersion On' Lee Jones

  • Robert 'Desperate For A Whiz, All Those Capri-Suns Were A Bad Idea' De Niro

  • Liev 'This Will All Be Over Soon Enough' Schreiber

  • Richard 'Remember When I Smooched Julia Roberts? Man, What A Rush' Gere

  • Gael 'I Thought This Was A Thunderbirds Theme Night' Garcia Bernal

  • Jeremy 'Do I Look Nice? Does My Appearance Please You?' Renner

  • Paul 'I Wish Owen Wilson Was Here' Rudd

  • Mark 'Yes, My Wife's Name Is Sunrise, And Your Point Is?' Ruffalo

  • Quentin 'See This, Mother? I Haven't Buttoned My Shirt' Tarantino

  • Don 'If My Wife Is Rolling Her Eyes Again, There'll Be Trouble' Johnson

  • Chris 'Did You See My Watch? This Is My Watch' Tucker

  • Alan 'I'm Adorable' Arkin

  • Bradley 'One More Crack About My Mother's Runners And I'll Snap' Cooper

  • Michael 'I'm Getting Photobombed, Amn't I?' Douglas

  • Eddie 'No, These Aren't Slippers, And They Were Very Expensive' Redmayne

  • Daniel 'Make Sure This Stubble Shows Up On Camera, Or You'll Never Work In This Town Again' Radcliffe

  • George 'Do I Look Short? Wait, Am I Short?' Clooney

  • Channing 'Will There Be Salami At Dinner?' Tatum

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