Dublin: 4 °C Wednesday 24 April, 2024
watery beer

9 struggles everyone faces at an outdoor gig in Ireland

We’re not built for it lads.

OH, YAY. YOUR favourite band are playing, but in an outdoor venue…

Prepare yourself.

1. It will most certainly rain

It’s not a matter of wearing a rain jacket or not, it’s how many you should wear . Don’t even think about wearing tan or doing your hair. It will all end up in a mess of sweat and rain.


2. On that note, your umbrella will be taken off you

So badly needed, so easily confiscated at the security gates.

umbrella-pile Makeyourmoments Makeyourmoments

3. And your schneaky naggin

Great, they caught us. We thought they’d think we just had an extra arm. Now you must queue for an hour for pre-poured beer which you’ll then have to lug around in a flimsy carrier that may as well be made of tissue paper. Life’s so hard.

Blog-pics-51 P4ck P4ck

They do taste well out of plastic cups though, why is that?

drinking with the band hurtingbombz hurtingbombz

4. Your pint barely consists of any beer

It’s basically a glass of water now.

beeranatomyfestival Stephensons Stephensons

5. Outdoor toilets are the devil’s playhouse

So hard to use after a few watery pints, and always jammers. Don’t get us started on the hand gel. Give us water or give us death.

Stonehenge Summer Solstice 2009 - Only in Britain vintagedept vintagedept

6. Food trucks deteriorate slowly throughout the gig

The END of the gig is when you want a big manky hotdog, but now the mustard looks like it’s thrown up on itself and your hands are nasty enough at the moment as it is.

57 flavors of summer Robert S. Donovan Robert S. Donovan

7. You look a general state

Sweat + rain + muck + jumping around = unsightly appearances. Just forget about it, wear those promo ponchos and frizzy hair loud and proud. If the sun makes an appearance you’ll be forced to remove your hood and unveil the true horrors.

oxegen-festival-2010-ireland-17-615x500 Niall Carson / PA Archive Niall Carson / PA Archive / PA Archive

8. Bye bye belongings

We loved you so much phone. Why did we have to keep you in the air recording during torrential rain?

wet-iphone Theiphonemom Theiphonemom

9. The mass exodus at the end

You can check in, but you can never leave. Getting home from the Iveagh Gardens isn’t bad, in fairness. Godspeed, everyone.

macklemoreoutdoors @macklemoreFRA @macklemoreFRA

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