1. When people realise that you’re actually Irish, you suddenly become a mini celebrity for one day only.
2. And requests for you to recite well known “Irish” phrases will hit fever pitch in whatever pub you’re in. This is your celebrity status now, and you must live with it.
3. You’re truly shocked at the sheer amount of people who go to the effort of wearing something green for the day.
“Nobody is arsed putting in this much effort back home.”
4. People will expect you to be a superhuman drinking machine, capable of putting away Pintman-esque amounts of drink. Thanks, stereotypes.
5. The parade (if there is one) is not without its charm, but it lacks that certain something you’re guaranteed in Ireland:
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6. You’re more than likely going to come across the dreaded Patty, but you just grin and bear it.
This only intensifies in North America.
7. Irish accent impressions hit an annual peak.
8. And the majority of them sound Scottish.
9. You’ll find yourself hitting a *very* stereotypically Irish pub early on because that’s where the session will be.
This is doubly true if Paddy’s Day falls in the middle of the week.
10. You’ll have a sudden, indescribable urge to hear some trad music – and will seek it out accordingly.
11. You round up the troops – ie every Irish person you’ve met since moving abroad and congregate for a particularly nostalgic session.
12. The sight of GAA jerseys roaming free on the streets will be up an impressive 94%.
13. There’s a good chance your mam will go above and beyond with a themed care package.
14. You’ll miss home so much more, but everyone back in Ireland will be sure to mention that “it’s always better craic abroad.”
