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10 people you're likely to meet at every Irish session

SESSION!

 1. The person who refuses to cede control of the Spotify

And is playing wholly inappropriate music.

“It’s 10.45pm, James. It’s too early to be playing Born Slippy.”

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2. The gal who inexplicably brought a bottle of Prosecco with her and is now saddled with it for the night

Too afraid to leave it down lest it get robbed, so she ends up awkwardly carrying it around with her for the night.

Lesson? Bring cans of Dutch next time.

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3. The snake who thinks the fridge is a free-for-all

THOSE CANS AREN’T YOURS, MICK.

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4. The lad who insists on trying to lead everyone in a singalong

Who gave him a guitar?!

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5. The person who keeps having deep meaningful conversations with anyone who will listen

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6. And the poor unfortunate soul who is trapped in an intense conversation with said person

Help me.

– their eyes

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7. The lad who wasn’t even invited and is infinitely more locked than everyone else

He’s been pre-drinking since 6pm and he doesn’t know anybody here — but that’s not going to stop him from having a good time!

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8. Someone you have never met in your life, but who is adamant that they once met you at a session in NUI Galway

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9. The couple who are having Serious Words by the bathroom and threatening to head home

*shuffles by, doesn’t make eye contact*

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10. The person who is polluted/unsteady on their feet and cannot be near any fragile objects right now

*hides vase in cupboard*

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