BEING A DRIVER in Ireland is no easy task. It brings up a WEALTH of new first-world problems.
1. Keeping a car basically costs your entire life savings, per month
Just when everything is perfect, you break down on the side of the M50. That’ll be €600, please… and don’t forget that your tax is up next month.
2. That constant game of chicken with the petrol meter
The cheapest fuel is in the Amber garage 20 miles away and DAMMIT YOU WILL GET THERE.
3. Thinking you can get into the tightest spot known to man
Free street parking on Sunday bitches, you got this.
4. The panic of coming across one of these
LORD SAVE US.
5. Or this
Even though you’re always under the limit, this will still put the fear of God in you.
6. The stress of coordinating a safe turn while simultaneously thanking the person who let you out
You don’t want the thanks to be so brief that it’s unseen, but you’re trying to drive here.
7. The lonely task of sitting in the NCT centre awaiting your fate
Not since the Leaving Cert have you felt so certain of failure.
8. Navigating the ridiculous limits on country roads
Meanwhile, in Dublin, a decent sized road in great condition is capped at 30.
9. Having to stick these eyesores on your car when you’re starting off
Is the L for loser, and N for neeeeerd?
10. Dealing with directions like this
Oh.
11. Feeling crushing guilt whenever you’re red on one of these
And sure GOOD ENOUGH FOR YE.
12. The Motor Tax office is your own personal hell
Yours and yours alone.
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