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Every single Irish number one in the 2000s, ranked from worst to best

All 170 of them.

170. Crazy Frog – Axel F 

frog Source: CrazyFrogVEVO/YouTube

Let us just reflect for a moment on the fact that thousands of people — people you probably know! — spent untold sums of money on (a) the Crazy Frog ringtone and (b) Crazy Frog’s single.

God be with the days when people had enough money to support the musical endeavors of a demented blue frog, tbh.

169. Chris Brown – Forever A banger sadly tarnished by the fact that Chris Brown is a clown ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

168 Delerium – Silence Down with vaguely Gregorian-sounding dance music.

167. James Blunt – You’re Beautiful A SCOURGE AND YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW IT.

166. Scooter – The Logical Song Somehow even more nightmarish than you remember.

165.  Mad’House – Like A Prayer Is there ever an occasion where someone is like, “Ugh, I’m sick of Like A Prayer… could someone stick on a crap remix of it?” Didn’t think so. 

164. Leon Jackson – When You Believe Zzzzzzz.

163. Basshunter – All I Ever Wanted A song that successfully evokes bad memories of every crap rural nightclub you were ever in circa 2004.

162. Basshunter – Now You’re Gone See above.

161. Brian McFadden – Like Only A Woman Can 

brr Source: Universal Music Australia/YouTube

Perhaps it’s just us, but Brian McFadden singing about the comfort only a woman can offer isn’t exactly our idea of a banger.

160. Mario Rosenstock – Leave Right Now Ah, remember when we had no problems and could just laugh at Roy Keane impressions? Halcyon days.

159. Linkin Park/Jay-Z – Numb/Encore It might be a bit of a tune, but as the song that launched a million dismal mash-ups, it has A LOT to answer for.

158. Simon Casey – A Better Plan A classic from the “You’re A Star Runner-Up” canon…

157Leanne Moore – On Wings Going to be honest here — I’ve literally never heard this song in my life before today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

156. Industry – Burn Ah, remember Baby Donal Skehan’s forays into pop?

155. Industry – My Baby’s Waiting Seriously, remember?

154. Chris Doran – If My World Stopped Turning …and yet another totes emosh entry from the Failed Eurovision Entry canon.

153. Westlife – Tonight The only notable thing about this song is that Markus Feehily has peroxide blonde hair in the video.

152. Dustin – Sweet Caroline A stirring cover, tbh.

151. Uncle Kracker – Follow Me So middle-of-the-road it makes Garth Brooks look positively edgy.

150. Six – Let Me Be The One Ah, the doomed second single… The less said about this it the better.

149. The X Factor Finalists 2009 – You Are Not Alone

ben

It raised bucketloads of money for Great Ormond Street, so we’ll refrain from being snarky and instead remark on how angelic Jedward look.

148. The X Factor – Hero See above.

147. Gareth Gates – Unchained Melody Remember how on point Gareth Gates’ hair spikes were? *gets nostalgic for a moment*

146. Mariah Carey – Against All Odds (feat. Westlife) A pretty dull cover of an emotional banger, BUT look how happy the lads were just to be in Mariah’s presence:

look Source: MariahCareyVEVO/YouTube

Brian (née Bryan) looks overcome with wonder and emotion, don’t you think?

145. Eminem – We Made You Another one of Eminem’s forays into the “let’s mention several celebrities in a rap and call it a song” genre.

144. Westlife – The Rose ”This is a nice song!” – your local priest.

143. The Saw Doctors – About You Now Remember when The Saw Doctors reached number one with a Sugababes cover? Yes, that was a thing that happened. Fair play to them.

142. Rui da Silva – Touch Me The top YouTube comment on this song is: “43 YEAR OLD I AM AND THIS REMINDS ME OF THE EARLY DAYS WHEN LIFE WAS STILL FUN…..” So there.

141. Westlife – Mandy In this video, the lads can be seeing wearing all-black suits including black ties. A strong look.

140. Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem – Almost Here The aural equivalent of the phrase “Life if you cried”.

139. DJ Otzi – Hey Baby Statistic: 1 in 4 Irish people has roared the “OOH! AHH!” part of this song while locked at a teen disco/wedding/21st.

138. Afroman – Because I Got High 

hgih Source: AfromanVEVO/YouTube

Look, it was funny for a few minutes back in 2000. But anyone who still insists on putting this on “for the laugh” at sessions needs to take a good, hard look at themselves.

137. Kid Rock – All Summer Long As bland as you’d imagine a song about singing Sweet Home Alabama and “making love out by the lake” would be.

136. Kate Winslet – What If This didn’t even make number one in the UK and yet we entertained Winslet’s brief foray into music. Why are we such licks? 

135. Westlife – Queen of My Heart “BUT UN-TIL *fist pump* THAT *fist pump* DAY *fist pump* YOU KNOW YOU ARE…”

134. Sandi Thom – I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker You know those BORES who harp on about how they wish they were born in a different era? Well, imagine they also wrote music and that’s what this song is.

133Tinchy Stryder – Number 1 ”Oooooh, put on Tinchy Stryder!” – Nobody.

132. Shayne Ward – If That’s OK With You *does a little Mam bop*

131. U2 – Get On Your Boots 

boots Source: U2Vevo/YouTube

“Get On Your Boots”. A phrase uttered by exasperated Mams trying to get children out to school and, er, Bono.

130. Nizlopi – JCB Song DAMN YOU, SENTIMENTAL SONG, FOR MAKING US FEEL EMOTIONAL ABOUT TRACTORS WHEN WE’RE HUNGOVER.

129. Nelly feat. Tim McGraw – Over and Over Both Nelly and Tim McGraw sound like they’ve taken drowsy medication, but sure, look.

128. The Veronicas – Untouched This song is very “We’ve Got Loads of Cool Programmes For Teens Coming Up on RTÉ 2 This Winter!” if that makes sense.

127. 21 Demands – Give Me A Minute Otherwise known as the song that made Kodaline famous.

126. Joe McElderry – The Climb Who can hate on wee Joe McElderry and his wee head giving it socks? :’) (Still nothing on Miley, though.)

125. Westlife – My Love Fact: Westlife released 327 songs during the 2000s.

124.Leona Lewis – Run Life’s too short for Snow Patrol covers.

123 Shayne Ward – No Promises Reader, I haven’t heard this song in years and I still somehow know all the words. I don’t know if this is a testament to its quality or what, but just putting it out there.

122. Mika – Grace Kelly

Mika: “I could be brown, I could be blue…”

You:

giphy Source: Reddit

121. Cascada – Everytime We Touch My thought process upon reading the song title: “Is that the one where all the gals are working out in the gym? Oh no, that’s Eric Prydz.”

120 Alexandra Burke – Hallelujah New rule: no more versions of Hallelujah ever. We’re good, thanks.

119. U2 & Green Day – The Saints Are Coming Your 15-year-old self thought this was savage.

118. Alexandra Burke – Bad Boys A song that was tailor-made for Boohoo/Missguided ads.

117. Various Artists – The Ballad of Ronnie Drew Every famous Irish musician ever singing “Here’s to you, Ronnie Drew”? What this country is all about, tbh.

116. Westlife – You Raise Me Up Literally funeral music, but sure look.

115. Pink – So What Disappointingly features none of Pink’s trademark aerial acrobatics :(

114. Rihanna – Take A Bow A grand song, sure, but let’s be real: this is not the Rihanna we know and love.

113.Daniel Powter – Bad Day 

pwoet Source: Warner Bros Records/YouTube

The wettest of wet blankets.

112. 2Pac – Ghetto Gospel There’s nothing Irish people love more than vaguely sensitive hip-hop.

111. Westlife – Unbreakable You know what love is truly unbreakable? Irish people’s love for Westlife.

110. Elvis vs. JXL – A Little Less Conversation The ultimate Dad tune. (Also, hands up if this inexplicably reminds you of Ireland’s performance in the 2002 World Cup? Just me? Okay.)

109. Britney Spears – My Prerogative Not Brit Brit’s finest hour.

108. Oasis – Go Let It Out LADS LADS LADS LAGER LAGER LAGER.

107. Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire MORE LADS LADS LADS.

106. Sean Kingston – Beautiful Girls 

sean Source: YouTube

In hindsight, this song has a bit of an… odd sentiment. 

105. XTM – Fly On The Wings of Love A remix of a Danish Eurovision entry which Mickey Harte was accused of ripping of in We’ve Got The World. If ever there was a song designed to appeal to Irish people, it’s this.

104. Akon – Don’t Matter ”I know all your mates hate me, but I promise it’s them, not me.” — Akon

103. Sharon Shannon & Mundy – Galway Girl If we never hear Galway Girl again, it won’t be a moment too soon. 

102. The Fray – How To Save A Life Fun fact: Ireland was the only country where this song topped the charts. We just love Grey’s Anatomy that much.

101. Band Aid 20 – Do They Know It’s Christmas? Shout out to the 30 seconds in this song that feature vocal contributions from Dizzee Rascal, the lead singer of Keane, Busted and The Darkness.

100. Tony Christie feat. Peter Kay – Is This The Way To Amarillo? Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la *clap clap*

99. Ireland World Cup Squad – Here Come The Good Times It’s no Put ‘Em Under Pressure, but it does evoke memories of Robbie Keane’s triumphant cartwheels and that’s no bad thing.

98. Westlife – I Have A Dream Peak basic, but they really put their hearts into it. (Also it features a children’s choir AKA our cryptonite.)

97. Akon – Lonely Back when Akon was going through his sensitive phase. You know, before he and David Guetta were roaming clubs informing women that they were “sexy bitches”.

96. Las Ketchup – The Ketchup Song 

ketchup

Very clear memories of completely mangling the lyrics and just singing “I said a-hey, a-ha…”

95. Leona Lewis – A Moment Like This “I can’t believe it’s happening to me!” — you, whenever you miraculously have the correct change for the bus.

94. Beyoncé & Shakira – Beautiful Liar Both ladies have done far better work, but this is still a solid banger nonetheless. 

93. Akon – Smack That Our boy Akon showing his true colours here!

92. Britney Spears – Born To Make You Happy Britney working lots of 90s/early 2000s fashion staples in this video — cargo pants, all-white ensembles, blue eyeshadow, etc.

91. Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend A tepid Hollaback Girl if we’re being honest with ourselves, but we’re partial to a bit of Avril now and again.

90. Fergie – Big Girls Don’t Cry *breathy vocals* La, la, la, la…

89. Sugababes – Push The Button Proper tune that features some exemplary lift dancing and a Johnny Depp doppelganger.

88. Britney Spears – Me Against The Music I WANNA GET IN THE ZONE.

87. Atomic Kitten- The Tide is High (Get The Feeling) 

86. The Black Eyed Peas – Shut Up Forget Where Is The Love? This song has an important message we should all heed: shut up, just shut up.

85. Eamon – F**k it

Ceamon

Who among us wasn’t caught up in the Eamon/Frankie soap opera?

84. Brian McFadden – Real To Me Brian McFadden is here to tell you that fame and the jetset lifestyle aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Sometimes all a man wants to do is watch football on TV, you know?

83. Westlife – Uptown Girl Calling it — this is the best Westlife cover by a country mile.

82. Atomic Kitten- Whole Again

atomic

Here, what’s the deal with what the Atomic Kitten gals are wearing in this video? Was there no wardrobe budget? Were the girls just instructed to come in their best Primark vests?

81. O-Zone – Dragostea Din Tei The best obscure Europop song to top the charts in the 2000s? We think so.

80. Samantha Mumba – Always Come Back To Your Love 90s pop goodness that calls to mind body glitter and belly tops. Miss you, Samantha.

79. Shayne Ward – That’s My Goal Shayne Ward seems like a nice lad and that’s our hot take.

78. Eric Prydz – Call On Me Kind of a belter even the video resembles soft porn and contains too much thrusting for its own good.

77. Shaggy – Angel Is there a more romantic sentiment than “Shorty, you’re my angel?” Nope.

76. Lady Gaga  - Just Dance A little basic by Lady Gaga’s standards, but you’re not human if you don’t do at least a little shoulder bop to this.

75. Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love It’s no Promise This, we’ll tell you that much.

74. U2 – Stuck In A Moment *lighters in the air*

73. Nickelback – How You Remind Me

Yes, Nickelback are almost universally reviled, but hear us out: How You Remind Me is a stupid belter that’s ridiculously fun to roar along to under the influence of cheap cans. “Are we having fun yet?” Yes, and it’s because of Chad Kroeger.

72. Limp Bizkit – Rollin’ If ever a song evoked memories of WWE and pro skater games, it’s this.

71. Bloodhound Gang – Bad Touch 

blood Source: Bloodhound Gang/YouTube

It’s as juvenile and stupid as you’d expect from a band who named their album Hooray For Boobies, but it’s also undeniably catchy, so…

70. Flo Rida – Right Round Sure, Flo Rida and Dead or Alive aren’t the most natural fit, but for some reason it works  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

69. Mickey Harte – We’ve Got The World This song is great, because it is literal nonsense. Don’t believe us? These are the lyrics: “Ask me why, the sun and moon go round/Ask me why, my feet never touch the ground/Tell the truth and take my breath away”. What are you on about, Mickey?

68. Eminem – Without Me Another “Eminem dresses up as loads of people and talks smack about celebrities” classic.

67. Duffy – Mercy Where is Duffy these days? Is she okay?

66. David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland – When Love Takes Over That time Kelly Rowland almost gave Beyoncé a run for her money. 

65. A.R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls – Jai Ho! Admit it: you’ve done some ill-advised bhangra moves to this in your time.

64. Jennifer Lopez – Get Right Calling it: this is J-Lo’s best song. Dat sax.

63. Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath “Can you keep up…” *starts wheezing from dancing too hard in the club to this*

62. Will Young – Leave Right Now Won’t hear a bad word against this. *sings into hairbrush*

61. Enrique Iglesias – Hero One for the slow set, lads. Also the video features Enrique STRIKING Mickey Rourke in the face.

60. The Streets – Dry Your Eyes The song that put a generation of lads in touch with their feelings.

59. Pat Shortt – Jumbo Breakfast Roll

shortt

The only song that truly captures the excesses of the Celtic Tiger.

58. U2 – Vertigo “Uno, dos, tres, catorce” – Only U2 could get away with starting a song by counting “1, 2, 3, 14″ in Spanish.

57. Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl Pales in comparison to some of Perry’s later output, but it holds up.

56. Modjo – Lady (Hear Me Tonight) Early 2000s mellow dance realness. (See also: Phats and Small.)

55. Pussycat Dolls – Don’t Cha Horrifying fact: this song is 11 years old this year D:

54. T.A.T.u – All the Things She Said Kinda sleazy, totally overwrought, pretty bonkers in hindsight — exactly what you want from a one-hit wonder.

53. Nelly feat. Kelly Rowland – Dilemma “I love you and I need you/Nelly, I love you, I do” = the funniest declaration of love of all-time. #NeedYouNelly

52. Britney Spears – Everytime

britne Source: YouTube

 Still straight up haunting after all these years.

51. Madonna – 4 Minutes Makes you want to join a high school marching band. And we mean that in the best way possible.

50. Geri Halliwell – It’s Raining Men This. Is. Everything.

49. Pink – Get The Party Started As 2000s as sitting inside and watching a Cribs marathon on MTV. So good that everyone from Shirley Bassey and Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan has covered it.

48. Usher – Yeah! Shout out to Lil Jon, the real MVP of this song.

47. Tim O’Riordan – The Langer Helped bring the word “langer” to the mainstream and for that we applaud Tim O’Riordan.

46. Shakira – Underneath Your Clothes Thank you, Shakira, for teaching us all that there’s an endless story underneath all our clothes.

45. Natasha Bedingfield – These Words “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

44. Spiller – Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love) This is flawless and Sophie Ellis-Bextor is flawless and DJs need to start playing this more often, to be honest. (Also Murder on the Dancefloor.)

43. U2 – Elevation

Remember when they superimposed The Edge into Lara Croft: Tomb Raider for the Elevation video?

edge3 Source: U2VEVO/YouTube

LOL.

42. Beyoncé – Irreplaceable A classic if only for the fact it introduced “To the left, to the left” into the lexicon.

41. Flo Rida – Low Flashback to Tom Cruise getting, ahem, low to this in Tropic Thunder.

40. Fatman Scoop – Be Faithful The ultimate party song, if we’re being honest with ourselves. “WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?”

39. Britney Spears – Piece of Me Spears’ response to intense media scrutiny is still so, so, so good.

38. The Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling Sure, it might be the most facile song ever recorded, but it’s also provided the soundtrack to many a wedding/Debs/crap New Year’s Eve party/sports victory. Don’t fight it, just go with it. Mazel tov.

37. Lady Gaga – Bad Romance *bows down to Gaga’s greatness*

36. Rihanna – Umbrella Yes, your Mam might still give out that this song caused Ireland to have one of the worst summers in recent memory, but it’s still a tune.

35. Avril Lavigne – Complicated So irresistibly angsty. G’wan Avril.

34. Eminem – Stan Unrelentingly grim, but you can’t deny it still packs a punch.

33. Gabrielle – Rise Gabrielle, you absolute goddess. 

32. Samantha Mumba – Gotta Tell You Still the coolest pop star this country has produced, tbh.

31. Six – There’s a Whole Lotta Lovin’ Going On 

six

Hands up if you went to a Six meet and greet in Golden Discs!!!

30. Robbie Williams – Rock DJ The musical equivalent of your Da taking off his tie while dancing at a wedding, but we have a soft spot for it.

29. Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love <3 <3 <3

28. S Club 7 – Don’t Stop Movin’ Don’t stop moving to that funky, funky beat, y’all.

27. Christina Aguilera – Beautiful *wipes tear from eye* I am beautiful. Thank you, Christina Aguilera.

26. Shakira – Whenever, Wherever For being the only song to include panpipes and a lyric about “small and humble” breasts.

25. Eve – Let Me Blow Ya Mind (feat. Gwen Stefani) So much ‘tude that it makes you want to wear a pair of giant hoops and chew some bubblegum in class.

24. The Black Eyed Peas – My Humps A masterclass in innuendo and catchy as hell.

23. Christina Aguilera – Dirrty The Unofficial Dirtbirds Anthem™

22. LeAnn Rimes – Can’t Fight The Moonlight 

mc Source: YouTube

Eh yeah, the main song from Coyote Ugly is one of the greatest songs of the 2000s and I will fight anyone who disagrees. 

21. Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me Sure, it has dubious morals, but… *shoulder dances*

20. Shakira – Hips Don’t Lie For introducing the concept of trustworthy hips to the world.

19. The Black Eyed Peas – Where Is The Love? Did they ever find the love or were those question mark posters in the video ineffective?

18. Girls Aloud – Sound of the Underground NUHDEEN COYLE’S FIRST TASTE OF ~POP STARDOM~

17. Justin Timberlake – SexyBack Confession: my bio on Bebo was “I’m not bringing back, ’cause I’m proof that sexy never left” for a while. I am not proud.

16. Gnarls Barkley – Crazy This song is legitimately too good that it’s impressive that it actually reached number one. Nice going, Ireland.

15. Ronan Keating – Life Is A Rollercoaster An amazing song with an amazing message: life is a rollercoaster and you just gotta ride it. Damn straight.

14. U2 – Beautiful Day A song that you can’t help but associate with Ireland’s triumphs… on account of it being played anytime we do anything of note. Win the Six Nations? It’s a beautiful day. Legalise gay marriage? It’s a beautiful day. Bono, you emotionally manipulative bastard.

13. Blu Cantrell – Breathe THE ABSOLUTE BEST.

12. Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out Of My Head 

kyl Source: YouTube

All these years later and we’re impressed that that sheath of white material managed to cover Kylie’s boobs in the video.

11. 50 Cent – In Da Club Thank you, 50 Cent, for providing mankind with a fun greeting to write on people’s Facebook walls when it’s their birthday. (“Yo shorty, it’s your birthday.”) We are forever grateful.

10. Eminem – The Real Slim Shady *somehow is able to rap the whole thing off by heart*

9.  All Saints – Pure Shores Perfection. Even if it was in The Beach.

8. Destiny’s Child – Survivor GALS, ASSEMBLE.

7. Britney Spears – Toxic Total ear candy and possibly Britney’s best ever song. Love, love, love. 

6. Christina Aguilera – Lady Marmalade The greatest musical collaboration of all time.

5. Kelis – Milkshake Even if many Irish people genuinely thought this was a song about a woman who made killer strawberry milkshakes and sold them from her garden.

4. R. Kelly – Ignition Has there ever been a party that hasn’t been vastly improved by someone putting this on? Nope.

3. Eminem – Lose Yourself MOM’S SPAGHETTI. That is all.

2. Beyoncé – Crazy in Love The song that announced Beyoncé as a force to be reckoned with. Doesn’t sound a day old.

1. Mark McCabe – Maniac 2000 

maniac200 Source: RTÉ2/YouTube

It couldn’t have been anything else, really. Maniac 2000 is the defining club anthem of the 2000s, beloved by Irish people everywhere.

Yeah, yeah, funky, yeah.

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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