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Dublin: 9 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
horn

6 reasons why people from Waterford are the horniest in Ireland*

* = according to an unscientific poll.

YESTERDAY, A POLL revealed that Waterford is the horniest county in Ireland.

The poll conducted by EliteSingles.ie examined user responses to the statement “I have a strong desire for sex” and found that Waterfordians had the biggest libido.

The poll may be highly unscientific, but that hasn’t stopped those who hail from the Déise from feeling proud.

We know what you’re thinking — why are people from Waterford so horny?

We have some theories.

1. It’s all that fiery Viking blood

mullane YouTube YouTube

Waterford is the oldest city in Ireland, having been first settled by Vikings in 853. And with all that fiery Viking blood coursing through your veins, you’re going to do one of two things:

  • Become John Mullane
  • Try get the ride

Simple, really.

2. Waterfordians are literally surrounded by phallic objects

roundtower Flickr Flickr

Eh, have you even seen Reginald’s Tower? Or what about the Clock Tower? Or the  Round Tower in Ardmore?

If you were bombarded with such phallic imagery on a daily basis, you’d be feeling randy too.

3. As it’s the sunny south east, the tops are regularly off

beach Flickr Flickr

Situated on the coast, Waterford people are accustomed to a tropical climate and, as such, regularly get their tops off.

Pasty Irish torsos? Sickened to not be from Waterford, to be honest.

4. But we’re also very repressed

wford DailyEdge.ie DailyEdge.ie

And, as evidence has shown, repression tends to make people pretty horny.

5. That accent, though

It’s hard not to feel frisky when you have someone addressing you as “boy” or “girl” at the end of every sentence.

*fans self*

6. Two words: sausage blaas

CI0qOFKXAAA7E8n DayTripper Waterford / Twitter DayTripper Waterford / Twitter / Twitter

Two points on this:

  • Blaas are a very sensual bread — soft, pillowy, floury
  • Sausages are suggestive.

 

CAN YOU BLAME THE PEOPLE OF WATERFORD FOR HAVING URGES?

Case closed.

How Waterford Are You?

Irish people are not at all impressed with the cheap seat sale >

A Waterford man has been posting gas notices around the city, and they’re going viral >

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