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Just 11 of the most ridiculous headlines about the Royal Wedding so far

The Queen won’t be at the after party anyway.

IN CASE ANY of you have been living under a rock for the last 6 months, there’s a royal wedding happening in May.

Meghan Markle is marrying Prince Harry and it’s set to be the event of the year if some of the British press are to be believed.

Source: GIPHY

As you would expect, there have been many, many, many news stories about this event so here are 12 of the more ridiculous ones.

1. The Queen won’t be dancing to the Spice Girls

Source: Cosmopolitan

So apparently The Queen won’t be sticking around to scream the house down to ‘Wannabe’ unfortunately at the Royal Wedding. The Spice Girls haven’t even been confirmed to perform yet either.

Did they get this nugget from the Queen herself? Nope a Royal Family Expert (yes that’s a job) told them.

But I think when it comes to the evening reception and certainly the party, if the Spice Girls are performing then, I don’t think the queen’s going to be on the dance floor.

Good to know.

2. The wedding invitations are very wedding like

Source: Bustle.com

They are supposed to scream royal wedding. The invitation is inviting them to THE ROYAL WEDDING. This would be newsworthy if the invitation was inviting them to Workmans.

3. Meghan Markle’s handwriting is really important

Source: Town And Country Magazine

Town and Country Magazing got a forensic handwriting expert in to examine poor Meghan’s handwriting. The expert provided some great insights.

Of course, she just used her first name, the same as Prince Harry does. That allies her with him.

Of course.

4. A chef predicted the breakfast they MIGHT have

Source: Daily Mail

Sorry first of all who needs a 6 course breakfast? Secondly why on earth are tacos even being considered? Thirdly who is this man? They might as well have written an article headlined ‘Danny Healy Rae recommends Royal couple have black pudding for breakfast’.

5. We’re all ‘eagerly’ awaiting a baby

Source: The Express

The Express actually got someone in to write an article about how EVERYONE really needs a Royal baby.

Given Meghan’s age, 36, nobody will be surprised if there is a swift announcement of a pregnancy.

She’s 36. She’s not dead.

6. The Daily Mail got a numerologist involved

Source: Daily Mail

If he ever cheated on her, she’d find it hard to forgive him. I can’t believe they hired someone to tell them this very basic fact.

7. Or you could just look at her handbag

Source: Metro

I for one, would like my handbag to tell me the future. I would like to look into my handbag and ask it things like ‘Will we will escape the void that is the Royal Wedding?’ It would be so, so handy.

8. Not to be outdone, the astrologers have weighed in

Source: Bustle.com

According to one astrologist, they couldn’t have picked a better day.

The midpoint between her Sun (how she shines, and another planet that indicates a man in a woman’s chart) and her Neptune (a planet of image and charisma) is at his Venus degree.

Source: GIPHY

9. A bridal jumpsuit? In this economy?

Source: Daily Mail

My favourite thing about this article is that it’s actually about the launch of this woman’s clothing line rather than whether or not Meghan Markle would get married in a jumpsuit. She could go to Boohoo for that.

10. There was an article about a tiny horse

Source: Marie Claire

It is a horse. Unless Meghan Markle is planning on riding it up the aisle, I’m not sure this article has a reason to exist.

11. And finally Princess Diana will be in attendance…. as a ghost

Source: Mirror

According to the psychic twins Terry and Linda Jamison Princess Diana wouldn’t miss the wedding ‘for the world’. She was also present when Prince William got married to Kate Middleton saying ‘I am around them all more than they realise’.

Spooky.

Source: GIPHY

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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