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savage x

11 things we need from Rihanna's lingerie line Savage X

If anyone can save our knickers drawer, it’s Rih.

OUR LORD AND saviour (Robyn) Rihanna Fenty is here to get our kits off with her new lingerie line Savage X.

TAKE MY CLOTHES AND BURN THEM RIH.

Savage X launches worldwide 10 May, and it looks like it’s going to be as diverse as her critically acclaimed makeup line Fenty Beauty.

Here’s some other revolutionary details we’d love within the Savage X line:

1. Guards to ensure the underwire doesn’t break through and stab us in the chest.

Realistically, all bras should have some kind of titanium stitching where the wire goes in. We’re counting on Rih to make this an industry standard.

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2. Bra straps that don’t twist the f*ck around.

WHO has the time to spend 89% of their adjusting their straps? Not me bitches.

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3. No itchy lace/lining.

Let the release of Savage x Fenty be the death knell for irriated backs and under boobs everywhere.

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4. I want support …

As if my tits are being held up by the hands of angels. Please and thanks.

5. … But I don’t want to sacrifice on spiciness.

Some of the raunchier options on the market ATM only cater for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (no hate, more power to them).

Rihanna’s already committed to catering to bigger sizes, so hopefully that means she’ll be covering the bases of practical and sexy. Y’know, for oat-feeling purposes.

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6. A GOOD strapless bra.

Not the ones I panic buy in Penneys when I realise I don’t have one three hours before I’m due to get my freak ‘um dress on.

(No offence Penneys).

7. I need it to not be a million euro.

Listen, I’m under no illusions Rihanna is out to make that coin (and rightly so). With that said, I’d rather not be bankrupted by a boob hammock.

Given her Fenty Beauty line is reasonably affordable, I’m sure she’ll do her best to accommodate us*.

*me specifically, though.

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8. Anti-VPL knickers that are somewhat nice.

Do they exist? Probably not. Could Rihanna make it happen? Absolutely. She’s Rihanna.

9. No dangly/bejewelled bits.

A gorge concept that my washing machine is just no on board with, unfortunately.

10. Clasps that don’t rip the lace of the back of the bra.

The lace needs to be impenetrable, please and thanks.

11. Bra straps that automatically tighten if they come loose, so you don’t look like a crazy person going at yourself in public.

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How is that we’ve managed to create artificial intelligence and 3D printers, and we’re still manually tightening our bras like fools?

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