ROB KEARNEY HAS served as a brand amabassador for Newbridge Silverware since 2015. In that time, the rugby player has fronted some of their campaigns and participated in meet-and-greets. Typical promotional stuff, you know yourself.
Keen to get their money’s worth, however, Newbridge Silverware enlisted Kearney to host a series dedicated to some of the famous gowns housed in Newbridge Silverware’s Museum of Style Icons.
The five-part series, which is buried away on Newbridge Silverware’s YouTube channel, features Rob Kearney outline the significance of style icons like Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Princess Diana, Naomi Campbell and Marilyn Monroe.
My friends, it is the most inadvertently funny thign I have seen in quite some time. Let’s go through it episode by episode, shall we?
Rob Kearney’s Guide to Princess Diana
Each episode of Rob Kearney’s Guide begins with jaunty jazz music and an ident depicting Rob Kearney gazing longingly in the direction of Audrey Hepburn.
In his guide to Princess Diana, Rob Kearney explains to us that she was the first wife of Prince Charles, Prince of Wales (oh, so that’s who she was!) and earnestly describes her as a “very beautiful, kind and charitable person” before gesturing behind him to a dress she once wore 25 years ago.
The all-too-brief guide ends with Rob Kearney remarking that Princess Diana “really was the people’s Princess”.
You said it, Rob.
Rob Kearney’s Guide to Princess Grace
Displaying a special interest in royalty, Rob Kearney next presents a guide to Princess Grace. Kearney, a 31-year-old man who likely cares as much about Princess Grace as I do about Neymar, then proceeds to regale viewers with some facts about Princesss Grace.
A highly popular actress in the 1950s, Grace Kelly performed in many Hollywood movies.
One to tell all your mates down the pub tongiht, no doubt. “Lads, did you know that Grace Kelly was in loads of films?”
Elsewhere, Rob Kearney nails the pronunciation of Givenchy and drops a fact about Grace Kelly the property owner.
On one of her trips to Ireland, Grace Kelly visited Co. Mayo where she purchased one of her ancestor’s homes.
The end!
Rob Kearney’s Guide to Audrey Hepburn
Next up on Rob Kearney’s list of icons is Audrey Hepburn. In this clip, we witness the fullback wax lyrical about a “black two-piece” once worn by Audrey Hepburn in the 1963 film Charade.
It’s worth noting that Rob Kearney can’t resist rubbing his hands and fiddling with his knuckles while he talks about these style icons and their gúnas. I’m no body language expert, but it seems to me that Rob Kearney is saying here, “I wish I was doing something manly like eating ribs and watching The Shawshank Redemption.”
Rob Kearney’s Guide to Naomi Campbell
In this clip, Rob Kearney discusses his fellow Newbridge Silverware ambassador Naomi Campbell. “Naomi Campbell was announced as the new face of Newbridge Silverware in September 2015,” he tells us with no trace of excitement in his voice. “This is the first time the model has represented an Irish brand.”
Thrilling.
Kearney then has the privilege of chatting about the custom-made Stella McCartney jumpsuit behind him. Naomi Campbell wore the outfit during an appearance on The Late Late Show, prompting Kearney to remark…
Rob Kearney’s Guide to Marilyn Monroe
Finally, Rob Kearney presents a guide to the one and only Marilyn Monroe. (Excuse me while I chuckle at the thought of Rob Kearney having, like, a Marilyn Monroe quote as his Instagram bio.”If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything,” perhaps?)
In this episode, Rob Kearney tells us that Marilyn Monroe was “one of the most popular sex symbols of the 1950s” known for wearing her “tight, figure-hugging dresses”.
Here he is doing his utmost to appear interested in one of the aforementioned tight, figure-hugging dresses.
“I could be watching Narcos and eating protein.”
Who said it was easy being a Newbridge Silverware ambassador, eh?
Already hyped for season two.
(h/t Jeanne Sutton and Rosemary MacCabe)
