Dublin: 13 °C Friday 9 June, 2023
# royal baby watch
Signs that people have lost their minds over the royal baby
Everyone just calm down.

OK KATE. WE’VE waited long enough.

We need you to produce the royal baby before the world completely implodes.

Just take a look at  some of the craziness that’s happening out there:

The Sun’s Royal Baby Monitor

Yes, you read that right.

The Sun has set up a webcam opposite the door of the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s hospital where the Duchess of Cambridge will give birth to the royal infant.

Yesterday there was a traffic cone in shot. Today the traffic gone is gone. WHERE IS THE TRAFFIC CONE?


About twice a day someone starts a rumour that the royal babba is on the way and Twitter completely loses the run of itself.

Take this tweet from the founder of Mumsnet for instance:

That tweet led to #RoyalBaby meltdown and an official statement from the Palace:

She could have been talking about her cousin Kate for all we know.

Also, how sorry is she about the “gorn” typo? Morto.

Clutching at straws

Yesterday a press release was issued which suggested that the Duchess of Cambridge was chowing down on nachos in her final few days of pregnancy.

Mr Nacho of KP Nacho’s is wondering if the Duchess of Cambridge is indulging her cravings and treating herself to some delicious nachos. Research has shown that nachos are the number one most craved food by pregnant women in the world.


The release also suggested some other foods for the Duchess to enjoy:

Curry and other spicy foods
Chocolate and dairy products

The headlines

They’re getting more ridiculous the longer we wait.

Camping out

Members of the media and the public have been camped outside St. Mary’s hospital for up to a week, awaiting the royal birth.


Sean Dempsey/PA Wire

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