PRINCESS CHARLOTTE, THE newest addition to the British royal family is being christened today at the Church of St Mary Magdalene in Sandringham.
It’s likely to be the first time the little family of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be pictured all together, and members of the public have been invited to watch on (but not go into the church itself. That would be madness).
The whole event is predicted to be serene and lovely and royal. It’s almost a certainty that none of the following things will happen…
Prince George throwing a hissy fit on the way in
Well wishers have been invited to gather in a paddock near St Mary Magdalene Church to view the Duke and Duchess, along with Charlotte and George, making their way into the service.
We don’t know how they do it, but royal babies appear not to cry in public, so the chances of George throwing a melter on the driveway over a packet of Snax are slim to none.
People arriving late
At an Irish function there will always be at least three people who squeeze in the door at the back a few minutes late, whispering louder than they’ve ever talked before in their lives.
“SORRY”
“SORRY THERE”
” CAN I JUST SORRY CAN I JUST GET PAST YOU THERE SORRY”
The baby throwing a wobbler
As mentioned, royal babies don’t cry. When they pour the water (from the River Jordan if you don’t mind) on her head she’ll just smile serenely, and maybe give a quick wave, despite being only a couple of months old and far too young to understand the concept of waving.
Awkward godparent pictures
The Duke and Duchess have chosen five godparents for Charlotte, which seems excessive but who are we to judge? Maybe they were just anxious not to #shade anyone.
The five are probably well used to being photographed at this stage, so it should be no bother to them.
Here’s Prince William with one godparent, his cousin Laura Fellows in 1986:
And here’s another godparent, James Meade. He looks like a chap used to taking a good photo:
Cocktail sausages
We at DailyEdge.ie are big fans of the tradition of the cocktail sausage and the triangle sandwich at the likes of christenings and weddings. We hold little hope for a cocktail sausage in the hand at today’s christening though.
In fact, we’ve already been told that “the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will give a tea at Sandringham House. Guests will be served slices of christening cake, which is a tier taken from The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding cake”.
Mmmm old wedding cake. Delicious. Probably fruit and all into the bargain.
Helium balloon sucking
What’s the point of splashing out on shiny fancy christening balloons if you don’t get to suck the helium out of them and sing Blue Moon at some stage.
We have a feeling shiny helium balloons probably aren’t part of Princess Charlotte’s Christening aesthetic.
A feed of pints
The best part, to be honest.
