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6 things that probably won't happen at the royal christening

No crying babies here.

Princess Charlotte christening Dominic Lipinski Dominic Lipinski

PRINCESS CHARLOTTE, THE newest addition to the British royal family is being christened today at the Church of St Mary Magdalene in Sandringham.

It’s likely to be the first time the little family of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be pictured all together, and members of the public have been invited to watch on (but not go into the church itself. That would be madness).

Princess Charlotte christening PA WIRE PA WIRE

The whole event is predicted to be serene and lovely and royal. It’s almost a certainty that none of the following things will happen…

Prince George throwing a hissy fit on the way in

Well wishers have been invited to gather in a paddock near St Mary Magdalene Church to view the Duke and Duchess, along with Charlotte and George, making their way into the service.

We don’t know how they do it, but royal babies appear not to cry in public, so the chances of George throwing a melter on the driveway over a packet of Snax are slim to none.


People arriving late


At an Irish function there will always be at least three people who squeeze in the door at the back a few minutes late, whispering louder than they’ve ever talked before in their lives.




The baby throwing  a wobbler

As mentioned, royal babies don’t cry. When they pour the water (from the River Jordan if you don’t mind) on her head she’ll just smile serenely, and maybe give a quick wave, despite being only a couple of months old and far too young to understand the concept of waving.

Princess Charlotte christening PA WIRE PA WIRE

Awkward godparent pictures

baby Awkward Family Photos Awkward Family Photos

The Duke and Duchess have chosen five godparents for Charlotte, which seems excessive but who are we to judge? Maybe they were just anxious not to #shade anyone.

The five are probably well used to being photographed at this stage, so it should be no bother to them.

Here’s Prince William with one godparent, his cousin Laura Fellows in 1986:

Princess Charlotte christening PA PA

And here’s another godparent, James Meade. He looks like a chap used to taking a good photo:

Princess Charlotte christening Ian West Ian West

Cocktail sausages

We at are big fans of the tradition of the cocktail sausage and the triangle sandwich at the likes of christenings and weddings. We hold little hope for a cocktail sausage in the hand at today’s christening though.

sa stevedepolo stevedepolo

In fact, we’ve already been told that “the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will give a tea at Sandringham House. Guests will be served slices of christening cake, which is a tier taken from The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding cake”.

Mmmm old wedding cake. Delicious. Probably fruit and all into the bargain.

The Royal Wedding PA WIRE PA WIRE

Helium balloon sucking

What’s the point of splashing out on shiny fancy christening balloons if you don’t get to suck the helium out of them and sing Blue Moon at some stage.

We have a feeling shiny helium balloons probably aren’t part of Princess Charlotte’s Christening aesthetic.

bakk Little Sweethearts Little Sweethearts

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