Dublin: 6 °C Wednesday 29 September, 2021

The 9 rules of Lent every Irish person knows

This is official.

1. You have to clear the house before you start, so it’s fine to eat EVERYTHING the night beforehand

Source: BlogSpot

Source: Javier Aroche

2. Be prepared for whatever you’ve given up to haunt you by appearing all over the place

Source: chocolatewarehouse.ie

Basically, this is you in a world of chocolate:

Source: Wordpress

And this is what you see when you close your eyes

Source: Giphy

3. Your chocolate money goes in here

And because you never put anything except coppers in it, by the end of the month it will be bulging and you’ll have to fix the bottom with Sellotape.

4. Your mother may use Lent to try and get you to do chores

5. You can cheat on Sundays, and that’s official

Paddy’s Day also counts because it’s a bank holiday. Like a Sunday, see?


Source: Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland


Source: Laughroulette

6. If you make it to two weeks, that’s Very Well Done

Source: Wordpress

And it’s probably OK to relapse a little

Source: DailyEdge.ie

7. If anyone gives you sweets/chocolates/other forbidden pleasures during Lent, you have to put them away in a jar or biscuit tin

Which will then torment you by sitting in plain view on top of the fridge

Source: Wordpress

8. At a certain point you will crack under the unbearable pressure, and sneak the middle bits out of an early Easter egg that someone has given you

Then wrap it all up again to hide the evidence.

Source: Sean MacEntee

Before retreating to your lair (aka under your bed/in the hot press/locked in the bathroom) to eat it.

Source: Tumblr

9. When Easter morning finally arrives, there will be blood

Source: Neil T

Source: BlogSpot

Source: Shutterstock

GODSPEED, FELLOW LENTENERS. May the chocolate be with you.

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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