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13 real-life moments scarier than any horror movie
Why bother renting a DVD this Halloween? Simply go about your awful, terrifying daily life.

LET’S FACE IT: life is terrifying. Here’s the worst of it.

1. A poster falling off the wall at night

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Falls down by day: irritation. Falls down by night: terrifying monster breaking down your door.

2. Walking through a door and finding someone there unexpectedly

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Especially when you’re in a vulnerable position, like just out of the shower. Or you live with one of those people who move about silently, cat-like, and you can never tell where they are.

3. When an unknown number rings your phone

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What it definitely is: someone pestering you to take a questionnaire, or the Revenue saying you owe them thousands of euro, or a hitman with a contract out on you for some reason.

What it definitely isn’t: Anything good.

4. Accidentally sending an email to the person the email’s about

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Stage 1: lurch in the pit of your stomach. Stage 2: desperately trying to claw the email back, hit Cancel, quit all programmes (none of which works of course). Stage 3: despair and skin-tingling dread.

5. The doorbell ringing when you’re not expecting anyone and you haven’t paid your TV licence yet

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THEY’VE COME FOR US.

6. Suddenly realising you were supposed to prepare a presentation for the meeting that’s in five minutes

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How could you have forgotten? HOW? This is the end of everything.

7. Getting a voicemail

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None of your friends would leave a voicemail. This means it’s either your parents, or someone telling you you owe them money.

8. Rolling backwards in your car on a hill start

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Cue desperate pedal-slamming; putting on handbrake AND footbrake; frantically checking to see you haven’t rolled into anyone. Then missing the lights and making everyone behind you honk furiously.

9. Waking up hungover and realising your mother-in-law is coming round

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YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE POLITE TEA OUT OF A TEAPOT. YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE CONVERSATION. YOU CAN’T LIE ON THE SOFA AND WATCH COOKERY PROGRAMMES FOR HOURS. THIS IS HELL.

10. Checking your bank balance

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And staring into the terrifying money void.

11. Bed jolts as you’re falling asleep

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High likelihood that your body has been possessed by a demon of some kind.

12. Sleeping through your alarm

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And the feeling when you finally wake up and see the clock.

13. Reading through your sent messages the morning after

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No words.

The DailyEdge.ie Terrifying Moments Support Group is now in session. Please leave all contributions in the comments below.

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