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get the shift

14 problems that only shift workers understand

“So, what are you doing for the long weekend?”

1. Feeling like you have to justify the fact that you’re answering the door in your pyjamas at noon

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2. The fulfilling social life that comes with finishing work late at night

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3. OR going to the pub after work, and finding that everyone else has already been there for six hours

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4. ”So, what are you up to for Christmas/New Year/the long weekend?”

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5. The difference between what you think you’ll do in the morning before your late shift…

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… and what you actually do:

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6. This isn’t a notorious work of surrealism, it’s a straightforward representation of your body clock

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7. Having forgotten what times it is and isn’t appropriate to drink alcohol.

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8. The smugness of a beautiful day when everyone else is at work…

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… only *slightly* tempered by the fact that everyone you know and love is, well, at work.

9. That heart-stopping moment when you think you’ve mis-remembered the roster and are supposed to be at your desk

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10. And the even worse one when you actually have.

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11. Doing a late shift followed immediately by an early shift? There’s nothing like it.

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OK, so you probably don’t ACTUALLY sleep at your desk. But it’s as near as makes no difference.

12. Also: Everybody suddenly wanting to mow their lawns, rebuild their houses etc just as you’re going to bed

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13. This epic poem, that happens to perfectly describe your relationship with your partner

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Or, to put it a different way:

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14. And finally, the joy of trying to find ‘lunch’ at 8pm on a Sunday night

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Although there IS the unbeatable pleasure of everyone else moaning about work on Monday when you have it off, and you’re like:

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(But mainly shift work still sucks.)

More: 6 pieces of indisputable proof that you can’t believe everything you read on the internet>

More: Little woodchuck rescued after getting head stuck in a grate>

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