AH, PENNEYS.
It doesn’t always live up to expectations, does it?
Expectations: I’ll just nip into Penneys for a quick second to pick up tights and a handy vest.
Really, I won’t be two minutes.
Reality: *three hours later* I spent €72 on loads of tat and I forgot to get the tights. Why am I such an Irish stereotype?
Expectations: I’ll get that floral jumpsuit all the bloggers on Instagram have been talking up. They’ll definitely still be there. No way anyone else would have seen them on Instagram.
Reality: Ah yes, a grey t-shirt with a weird gingham bra sewn onto it. I guess the bloggers must have bought up the actual decent stuff.
Expectations: I’ll be the only person to find this blouse that looks like it came straight out of Zara. I’m cunning like that, you see.
Reality: *shows up to night out to discover every second girl is wearing the same blouse* Oh, for f**k’s sake, lads.
Expectations: I’m always a size 12 so it stands to reason a size 12 should fit me in Penneys, right?
Reality: Penneys laughs in the face of logic.
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Expectations: I’ll pick up some nice ~sexy~ lingerie. A bralette, perhaps.
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Reality: All they have in stock is Friends/One Direction pants that you wouldn’t use to polish shoes. Terrific.
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Expectations: I’ll try my clothes on in the changing room. After all, I’m surrounded by grown ups who are all too aware of dressing room decorum, right?
Reality: Penneys changing rooms are where manners, good grace and common sense go to die.
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Expectations: I have restraint. I won’t be tempted by that tat they keep by the queue.
Reality: *throws in tights, lip scrub, face cloths, weird tanning mitt and toothpaste while waiting in queue because sure, you can never have enough and they’re basically free, aren’t they?*
Sure, you’re practically making money*.
*spending €17
Expectations: I’m buying loads of underwear, but there’s 7 women on the tills so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Reality: You get called to the counter manned by the only lad working in the whole place and will have to look at your feet as he puts through all your underwear. It’s the law.
