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slow down

10 pieces of undeniable proof that time itself has sped up

What do you mean it’s April already?

TIME, TIME, TIME, isn’t on your side.

Your life got a jump start in the last few months and hasn’t yet returned to normal. You’re sure of it.

1. You’re JUST over the weekend and it’s almost Friday again

While you keep wishing the weekdays away, you can’t help but notice that yet another one is gone and you’ve achieved NOTHING.


Slow the hell down, time.


2. It’s APRIL, for God’s sake

There’s only 266 sleeps to Christmas, and about 20 until we start seeing decorations in shops. We still have a few stray decorations up from 2013.

End this.


3. The stretch is freaking you out

You didn’t even get a chance to enjoy the cosy dark evenings and now they’ve been so cruelly snatched away from you by the cruel concept that is passing time.


4. Holidays aren’t even on a timeline for you any more

Easter? Wasn’t that two weeks ago? You’ve been eating eating chocolate eggs since January like it ain’t nothing.

Nothing is sacred any more when you can enjoy a bag of jelly hearts, a chocolate egg and a shamrock shake in one time-warping sugary meal.


5. You have had at least three minor panic attacks about the fleeting seconds

WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING? While you ponder that, six days have passed.

Pause time, we want to get off for a second.

roller coaster

Oh, we can’t.


6. Your birthday is creeping up, AGAIN

When you were younger they took ages to get here, now they’re a thing of fast-approaching dread.


7. Your pregnant friend was only with-child for like, two days

Her whole pregnancy was this quick. You go to visit her in hospital and realise she’s just had her second.


8. Your kids look like this when they wake up


You blink, and they’re giving you tude before bedtime.

9. You haven’t seen your Aunt Mary since before Christmas

That’s not too long ago, right? Oh, it’s almost four months… You’ll get to her eventually.

Aaaaand Its Gone Meme - Imgflip

10. That thing you said you’d do ‘tomorrow’ was at least ten months ago

You’ve missed the cut-off date and everything you bought in your last shop has already expired.


Damn you time, damn you.

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