WATCHING NICKELODEON AS a kid, you’d be forgiven for lusting after American sweets all day.
When you were eventually old enough to head off on a J1, you were met with nothing but disappointment.
Case in point:
1. Twinkies
WTF are these? They’re oil-soaked sponge with a soggy centre, that’s what they are. After watching countless American characters beg for Twinkies, we were expecting glorious lil cakes of joy. No such luck. Back to the states with ye.
2. Hersheys
Hershey’s is literally the worst chocolate ever made. It tastes like baby puke. Give us Cadbury’s any day. We learned this lesson the hard way, with bags upon bags of the stuff stuffed into our suitcases on the return flight from New York.
3. Mountain Dew
Oh Mountain Dew. The things we dreamed you tasted like. I thought it would have more of a lemon flavour, so you can imagine how disappointing it was to discover it was basically 7up with a different name.
4. Twizzlers
The words you’re looking for are red liquorice, Jesus. These taste like chewing, nothing else.
5. Root Beer
This tastes like coke after brushing your teeth, yet ALL the cool tweens on MTV love it? Upsetting.
6. Fruit Loops
These are so aesthetically pleasing, it’s hard to believe they taste like dyed cardboard.
7. Birthday Cake M+Ms
Hold on actually, Birthday Cake flavoured anything is an immediate no from us. What’s with America’s obsession with creating flavours that don’t exist? Red Velvet = Chocolate. Birthday Cake = Vanilla, with a few sprinkles thrown in.
It’s safe to say that these M&Ms are the worst. Stick to peanut.
8. Kool Aid
Santa could have skipped your gaff one year and you’d still have faced a milder childhood disappointment than opening a packet of Kool Aid only to realise you have to mix it with water and endless spoons of sugar to make a decent drink. No.
It’s the Mr Frosty machine all over again.
Did you have any upsetting run-ins with American snacks? Let us know in the comments.
