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18 steps to being an Irish lady

Listen up, gals.

EARLIER TODAY, COUNTRY Life published a (rather bonkers) guide to being a lady.

And so, we at DailyEdge.ie decided to create a guide especially for the Irish lady.

An Irish lady…

1. Eats cold pizza for breakfast

pizza Source: Flickr

Like a boss.

2. Can open a bottle of a wine using any household implement

CJajcK6WgAA0XNz Source: Annie Pearce/Twitter

A scissors, a knife, a shoe — a true lady doesn’t need a corkscrew.

3. Can cope with any fake tan disaster that may arise

CM426t8WsAEr3ts Source: Luce/Twitter

“This, too, shall pass…”

4. Will never acknowledge that her clothes are nice and will in fact proclaim they are “a bit of a state” even if they are literally Chanel 

chanel Source: Flickr

5. Always assures company that she’s “leaving the house right now” even if she’s technically still waiting for the water to get hot for a shower

CSIdWHuUsAAl9_- Source: taylornlyons/Twitter

6. Uses her handbag as a bin, and totes around receipts/dirty tissues/loose change/broken pens for months on end

CLZIgIUXAAA2epU Source: GAME Galleries/Twitter

7. Holds very strong opinions on which sauces are best and which sauces are rank

CRszgm5WEAAFfgF Source: Kyri_Phantis/Twitter

Furthermore, she isn’t afraid to debate you on what the best sauce for McDonald’s chicken nuggets is.

8. Clicks ‘attending’ on Facebook events she has no intention of ever going to

going

It’s called manners.

9. Accidentally plucks her eyebrows into different shapes by accident and remains stoic about it

m1AJJ90 Source: Imgur

“It’s fine. I’ll just get a fringe.”

10. Forges friendships with other girls in the toilet queue and frantically asks them, “WHAT LIPSTICK ARE YOU WEARING, IT’S FAB!!!”

brom Source: Flickr

11. Looks straight ahead and pretends to be unable to hear when a person on the street asks if they “have a minute to chat”

EZJ50oC Source: Imgur

12. Learns to drive the ladylike way: by having your Dad roar at you as you drive in circles around an empty car park

driving Source: Flickr

“BRAKE!!!”

13. Excels at making every conversation a little bit awkward

That nod when you just meet somebody and get that awkward silence while you two are alone. Source: Imgur

14. Exercises no caution at all when washing bras/knickers/tights

machine

A true lady just throws everything into the wash, regardless of colour and fabric, and keeps her fingers crossed.

15. Has perfected the art of smuggling naggins into gigs/festivals

so how'd you sneak in your vodka? #iwin #hairsmuggling #whoneedsflasky Source: stephbatt

16. Knows everything about you before they’ve even met you, thanks to diligent Facebook/Twitter/Instagram stalking

stalk Source: Sea Tea/Twitter

17. Knows all the words to a rap from a 90s song and performs it at every available opportunity

Coolio Animated GIF Source: Giphy

See: Rhythm Is A Dancer, Push It, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Gangsta’s Paradise…

18. Has never looked into what she’s supposed to do about her pension and makes no apologies for it

Flawless Animated GIF Source: Giphy

Previously: This guide to ‘being a lady’ is absolutely preposterous >

About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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