WHAT DID WE ever do before box sets and Netflix? Use the RTÉ Guide, newspaper, or even the teletext schedule? Did we actually WAIT for something to come on, then wait another week to watch the next episode? Enough of this nightmarish dystopia, let’s get real.
Going on a Friday night binge but have basically watched everything ever made? Let this handy flow chart be your guide to find something new. Just expect to experience of dose of these telling signs:
1. You constantly lose track of time
One more episode won’t hurt. Oh dear, there was a huge cliffhanger at the end of that one so now you’ve to watch the next one. Ah look, it’s 3am and there’s work tomorrow. You DID watch three seasons in one day though, there’s one for the CV.
2. You feel a strange sense of emptiness when an episode disappoints
So… that’s it? That had absolutely nothing to do with the current story arc and your favourite character was in it for like two minutes. Seriously? Now we’ve to wait until next week? Come off it.
3. You have no problem staying up late to see a show premiere on US television
You have to stream it from the states and don’t mind giving yourself about 12 viruses in the pursuit. The episode doesn’t start until 2am but my God, you’ll be up to witness it along with everyone else. The thought of people seeing it before you just KILLS you.
4. Your Netflix recommendations are getting oddly specific
And you buy into each and every one.
5. You start to miss the characters
You may be tempted to turn to fan fiction. Christ, you might even read one of those ‘official’ tie-in books.
6. You’ve somewhat lost touch with reality
Work is just an eight hour gap between you and your next episode. You’d rather watch it alone so you can keep up the pace and will have minimal interruption. Social interaction? What’s that?
7. You’ve developed an unquenchable thirst to know everything about a show you’re into
Enter, the internet. If it’s related to the show, you’ll find it. Interviews with the actors, useless Wikipedia trivia, blooper reels on YouTube. Basically, all of your recommended videos are about Breaking Bad and you have yet to find a related Google link that isn’t purple.
Did you know that Bryan Cranston is a Pisces? Of course you did.
8. You’ll talk theories with anyone who will listen
What are the polar bears on the Lost island? WHO IS THE MOTHER? You ponder and ponder until it’s 4am and you’re arguing with an Australian via twitter hashtags about how Sherlock faked his death.
9. You can watch it over and over again
You may not actively seek out a show you’ve already watched, but if it happens to be on television as you’re flicking by, you’ll have no qualms in watching it again. You’ll also laugh EVERY, TIME. It’s like greeting an old friend.
10. Social media is your mortal enemy
So you had to go to a damn wedding or some exotic holiday last week and you had no choice but to miss a new episode. Of course everyone in the world has already watched it and are tweeting about it. It’s a minefield out there.
