THE WEB SUMMIT is currently dominating Dublin, and it’s all anyone can talk about.
But what if you don’t know your cloud from your content, your Hipchat from your WhatsApp?
We’re here to help.
1. Ask a lot of questions in quick succession
No need to ponder the answers.
2. Be deep
Drop in phrases that will make people think, even if it’s just to confuse them.
3. Know the jargon
Check out some we prepared earlier, but here’s a few you definitely need to know.
Disrupt
If an idea or business is clever and doing well, it’s disrupting the whole industry. Perhaps it’s time for a call to disrupt the use of disrupt, as it needs some serious regulation.
Content
Content is all around us. You might add it to other buzzy words to make it sound like you have a deeper understanding of content than other content creators. Try:
- Content is king
- Random Acts of Content
- Organic content
- Content longevity
- Native content
Basically, just throw ‘content’ on to the end of adjective and start swimming in business cards.
The cloud
Nobody knows what the cloud is, even the inventor of the cloud. However, it will come up in most tech conversations so be prepared to deal with it. We suggest screaming “BUT HOW CAN WE UTILISE THE CLOUD?” during any pitch.
Addvertising
A new one for 2014. No, not a typo, but means adding value to advertisers. Clever. Come up with some more of these and watch it spread.
Growth marketing
Basically, growing your business through marketing. Which can be summed up as ‘marketing’, too.
SaaS and enterprise
Software, business. SaaS is pronounced letter-by-letter, don’t say sass and make a show of yourself.
4. When describing an app, say it’s like X for X
Oh, did you check out that pitch? It’s like Snapchat, for unemployed dogs. That one? Instagram for used car salesman. Tinder for hugs, you get it.
5. Big up mobile
Everything is going mobile. Just don’t bring up Nokia.
If you want to get to expert level…
6. Ask about ‘the Ecosystem’
What ecosystem do you see yourself in? Decide now, and choose carefully.
7. Collect some swag
We know swag as ‘company merchandise’, but if you’re going to be a hip young tech player, you need to obtain a lot of it and wear it constantly.
FLY THAT FLAG.
8. Drink more coffee than you can humanly handle
This tip is vital if you want to fit in in a tech environment. Aim to imbibe at least four cups an hour. In fact, if you’re networking and you’re not already holding one, say goodbye to an investment in your pizza-cutter app.
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9. Mention ‘The conversation’
We don’t refer to the human conversation you’re actually having, but the wider conversation. Drop lines such as, Apple watch is about to change the conversation on wearables, and you’re well on your way to networking glory.
