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Dublin: 6 °C Sunday 9 December, 2018
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9 texts every Irish person has received on New Years

Beep beep.

THE CLOCK STRIKES ten and the networks get blocked… All because of these.

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1. The mam text

This one will come at 12.00am on the DOT, like she wrote it beforehand and waited until the countdown to send it to you <3

a1

2. The aunt text

This one will come at about 10pm tonight, with apologies for being so early. It’s because the NETWORKS MIGHT BE JAMMED, even though that hasn’t happened this millennium.

a2

3. The lazy text

Be assured this has been sent to you and about 10 other people. This person cares about you, but not much. A “same to you” reply will suffice.

a3

4. The group invite

While the previous text at least tried to hide the fact that they’re streamlining their New Year texts, this pal created an annoying Whatsapp group that you have to politely reply to and leave. Cheers, but no.

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5. The photo

Usually sent by an older relative, some sort of meme found on Facebook that will make you tear up a little despite yourself.

alol

6. The ex text

This one won’t come until about 3am, and will be from your lonely ex of about 2 years, fishing for a shift after they failed to get one at midnight. BYE.

a4

7. The who-the-f*ck-is-this text

Happy New Year friends!

Who’s dis, new phone

- you

a5

8. The totes emotional bff text

It’s OTT and full of drunken slurs, but you love it.

a6

9. The copy paste text

This was DEFINITELY sent to them at some stage and they thought it sounded nice. It’s the thought that counts.

aangel

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What Should Your REAL New Year’s Resolution Be?>

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