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pint crimes

These are the 10 worst things that can happen to your Friday night pint

Flat? Stale? Foamy? GAH.

IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT, and you’re out for a quiet pint to wave goodbye to a long week. Perfect.

But wait, your pint is crap. The horror, the disappointment, the rage. So many feelings, such bad pint craftsmanship.

We’ve rounded up ten of the worst things that can happen to your beloved lager or stout, just so you can be prepared for the worst.

1. It’s flat

Wrong. Sick and wrong. Last thing you want to feel like when sipping a pint is that you’re gulping away on an entirely different golden liquid altogether.


2. It’s old

Imagine how mank this was once it reached its destination? Nothing more devastating than that first slurp of stale beer.

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3. It’s served in the wrong glass

A sin, an unforgivable sabotage of the pint imbibing experience. You wouldn’t serve steak in a bowl, so why would you serve Carlsberg in a Stella Artois chalice?

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4. Someone draws on the top of it

Cute, and all, but no. How would they feel if you stuck your finger in their wine?

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5. There’s a MASSIVE head

Grand, of course we wanted mouthfuls of foam before we get any actual liquid.

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6. It’s luke-warm

Just like the reception you’ll be giving the barman when you bring it back and from here on out.

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7. Guinness isn’t let sit

Oh God, the air bubbles. Air bubbles everywhere.

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Offensive. Look away now.

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8. It’s overpriced

Is there anything that will spoil a pint more than knowing you’re supping away on around a week’s worth of wages?

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9. The barman pours it too fast

Almost as unforgivable as that fact that millilitres of the precious nectar WILL be spilled in the process.

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10. Getting stout from a can or bottle

An appalling turn of events, shame on all involved.

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