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night owl

14 things you'll understand if you're someone who just CAN'T go to sleep early

You can’t help being a nocturnal creature.

1. You always start out with good intentions

“I’m going to bed early tonight, I swear.

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2. But no matter how hard you try or how tired you are, it just never pans out that way

You at 9am: “I’m absolutely wrecked. I’m definitely going to be tucked up in bed by 10.30pm.”

You at 10.30pm: “Should I go to bed or watch this auld episode of Law and Order: SVU?”

You at 12.50am: *watches infomercial for a blender for 20 minutes*

You at 4.15am: “Shite, are those birds I hear?”

3. It’s not your fault — you’re just really wide awake and alert when everyone else is sleeping

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4. Your late nights mean that you are all too familiar with this sight

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5. And that your morning beauty routine is an exercise in making yourself look less haggard

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6. You need an industrial strength alarm to actually wake up in the mornings

Otherwise, you will sleep in.

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7. And you don’t relate to those people who are just magically programmed to wake up at dawn

If your body had its way, you would never be up before 10am. At least.

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8. Those times you do go to bed early? You end up giving up after about 10 minutes and looking t your phone in the dark

Ah, that ever-familiar phone glow.

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9. As a result of staying up too late, your internal body clock is f**ked

When you think it’s “probably midnight,” it’s actually 3am. And when you think you “probably have half an hour left in bed,” it’s actually approaching noon.

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10. You’re always that person trying to coax people into staying out longer

And then people go around calling you a “bad influence”.

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11. You know the struggle of lying next to a person who is fast asleep and not wanting to disturb them

When really all you want to do is toss and turn, play with your phone, watch something on Netflix…

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12. Even though you’re no longer a student, you still kind of have the sleeping habits of one

*stays in bed until 2pm on a Sunday*

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13. Everyone you know is always trying to offer you tips on how you can get to sleep earlier

“Don’t drink tea after 4pm!”

“Exercise in the evening!”

“Ban bright screens from your bedroom!”

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14. But what they don’t understand is that this is a way of life

Night owl ’til I die.

*pounds chest*

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