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Dublin: 6 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
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15 things that will always happen on an Irish country holiday

Ah, the short, cold, Irish summer.

AH, YOU GOTTA love the summer holidays. Especially if you’re staying in a caravan an hour away from your house.

1. Someone will get sick in the car

You’re only going about two hours away but someone will need a sick bag in between bouts of I Spy and stopping for 99s.

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2. Your accommodation will be a caravan, holiday home, or a massive tent

Will all seven of you fit? Why yes, sure the dining table turns into a bed.

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3. The hostile local kids will create somewhat of a rivalry

With you lot, AND the kids across in the posh camping site. Who do they actually think they are?

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4. There’s always a dog you’re afraid of

Jesus CHRIST whyweren’t there more fences around to keep them off you?

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5. Nobody ever wins anything on the amusements

Even as a child, you weren’t immune to that empty feeling you got from putting your prized 20p into the slot and getting no return.

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6. You’ll always swim in the bleak sea nearby, even in the rain

It DOES smell vaguely of wee and seaweed, but it’s the only chance you’ll get for a dip. You’ll be finding sand for days, and someone will always get stung by a jellyfish while out boogieboarding–but it’s so worth it.

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7. Jars will be emptied to catch pinkeens

Only the fancy kids had the special nets.

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8. There will be deck chairs constantly blocking the boot

Permanently folded and always in the boot because you never got the weather to stop.

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9. Dozens of sandy sandwiches WILL be consumed

Will you stop MOVING the sand is going everywhere.

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10. You’ll have to run away from seagulls and bees with ice cream and candy floss

Eeeeeevil.

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11. Pedalos will be rented and no one will know what they expected

So you can go on a dozen trips around the tiny lake until you get exhausted enough to be able to sleep in that sleeping bag.

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12. The grimmest of boardgamesare always the go-to entertainment

When it was too wet for the beach you’d stay in and play whatever boardgames you could find in the caravan. Or else just a classic game of Snap!

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13. Someone won’t be able to resist the wet slides and swings and will come back soaked and covered in mud

Well, they’re NOT coming into the caravan like that.

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14. The rubbish local ‘shop’ will be your constant source of sugar

Let’s be real, it’s a hut. Now, what to get on the sly today…

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15. You’ll promise to stay in touch with your new mates when you go home

But you never did. Until next year, lads.

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