1. Your bank balance
You’ve had a big weekend. (Or even a couple.) But there’s still an unimaginably long time until pay day, like two and a half weeks or something.
You know, with every rational atom in your body, that it is important to find out how much money you have left. But OH GOD THE TERROR.
2. Why your girlfriend/boyfriend is angry
Obviously you need to discover this information. But you know, for a solid-as-rock fact, that it will not be good news.
Will it be the ‘waiting game’ approach, or the ‘confrontation’ approach? Each has its drawbacks. YOU MUST CHOOSE.
3. What the voicemail is
OK, it COULD be the Lotto calling you to say that you’re now a millionaire because of a ticket someone bought in your name.
But more likely, it’s someone with terrible news. Almost certainly the taxman. Or your BANK… please God, not the bank.
4. How you were conceived
So this is interesting, obviously. But it *will* bring with it thoughts of the most distressing order.
5. What you did last night
UGGGHHH MY HEAD. It was fine last night, right? You were fine. You were probably fine.
6. What’s in the Tupperware
“I’d better clean out the fridge. Hmm, can’t remember what I put in this carton.”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
And then the process of trying to put it in the bin while simultaneously running away from it.
Thanks Roisin Burke
