YOU’LL ALL BE PLEASED to know that Tom Cruise is not entirely opposed to becoming a film ambassador for Ireland. According to the Irish Examiner, the government are keen to recruit the actor to promote the Irish film industry abroad.
Well, that’s great and all, but we’re dubious about the whole thing. Is he really the best fit? Here are a few highly concerning opposition points we must consider before we do anything hasty.
1. He doesn’t look to fond of our national treasure
Your mouth says ‘delicious’, your face says…
2. He butchered our accent to the point of no return back in 1992
3. But it wasn’t that that hurt the most, he rubbed salt into the wounds as recently as APRIL
Why, why would you do that Tom?
4. He’s mates with our politicians and here they are having a good old laugh at his Certificate of Irish Heritage*
*probably.
5. He totally snubbed Pat Kenny back in 1995
He also brought that pony tail and facial hair combo onto our shores.
6. He made our pint-sized President look TALL. This will not do
7. His ancestors were Knights of Strongbow, famine heroes and had a castle in Hollywood, Wicklow
BIT coincidental.
8. Finally, he broke up with the ultimate red-head
Being ginger is one of our ‘things’, how can we trust you now Tom? How?
