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IF YOU’RE IRISH with a clatter of cousins, you’ll recognise this lot.
1. The BFF
If you weren’t cousins you’d probably be friends, so it’s just nice that you two came together naturally and get to survive family gatherings together.
You’re cousins twice removed, or distant cousins, or second cousins, who knows. All you know is that you call them your cousin and nobody questions it.
❤❤❤💋🔥 i love you so much and you're growing up to be so awesome and beautiful and you'll always be my fav not real cousin😂❤️
3. The absolutely perfect over-achiever to which you will be constantly compared
This cousin can do no wrong and the whole family knows it. Your mam will constantly list off their new achievements when she sees you and leaves you with that information to do what you will. In order words, get your act together with that mortgage, Seamus has his own house since he was twenty.
This cousin was born last but hasn’t been ‘little’ in about 20 years. However, they’ll never grow up in your head, and oh-my-god-they’re-starting-college you’re-so-old.
My baby cousin is a doctor, an actual Doctor! I feel both proud and old!
This is usually the literal oldest cousin, with a few years in between them and everyone else. They drove a cool car, constantly seemed like a proper adult, AND probably wore a leather jacket. They definitely talked you into backchatting your nanny too, the divil.
6. The one who thinks they’re better than everyone else
This cousin was sound as a kid but went to France on Erasmus in college and came back with a serious head on them. They think they’re above family functions because they interned with Philip Treacy in London for two months and saw Anna Wintour in the street one day.
7. The rural one
Lives in the middle of nowhere down the schticks and has little knowledge of how to actually interact with the rest of the family. Fond of the beer and has a truck that’s constantly covered in muck.
Seriously. Every family function you go to, you can expect this cousin to introduce you to their flavour of the month. You’ve definitely almost called them by their ex’s name and everything.
You barely know this cousin as they were probably brought to Australia or the States when they were little. Now you only see them every few years and it’s kindaweird when you do. But hey, at least you have a bed for whenever you’re visiting.
Sunday 8 December, 2024
Sunday 8 December, 2024
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The 9 types of Irish cousin
IF YOU’RE IRISH with a clatter of cousins, you’ll recognise this lot.
1. The BFF
If you weren’t cousins you’d probably be friends, so it’s just nice that you two came together naturally and get to survive family gatherings together.
2. The one who’s not actually a cousin
You’re cousins twice removed, or distant cousins, or second cousins, who knows. All you know is that you call them your cousin and nobody questions it.
3. The absolutely perfect over-achiever to which you will be constantly compared
This cousin can do no wrong and the whole family knows it. Your mam will constantly list off their new achievements when she sees you and leaves you with that information to do what you will. In order words, get your act together with that mortgage, Seamus has his own house since he was twenty.
4. The little cousin
This cousin was born last but hasn’t been ‘little’ in about 20 years. However, they’ll never grow up in your head, and oh-my-god-they’re-starting-college you’re-so-old.
5. The older, cool, cousin
This is usually the literal oldest cousin, with a few years in between them and everyone else. They drove a cool car, constantly seemed like a proper adult, AND probably wore a leather jacket. They definitely talked you into backchatting your nanny too, the divil.
6. The one who thinks they’re better than everyone else
This cousin was sound as a kid but went to France on Erasmus in college and came back with a serious head on them. They think they’re above family functions because they interned with Philip Treacy in London for two months and saw Anna Wintour in the street one day.
7. The rural one
Lives in the middle of nowhere down the schticks and has little knowledge of how to actually interact with the rest of the family. Fond of the beer and has a truck that’s constantly covered in muck.
8. The one that constantly has a new partner
Seriously. Every family function you go to, you can expect this cousin to introduce you to their flavour of the month. You’ve definitely almost called them by their ex’s name and everything.
9. The one who lives across the world
You barely know this cousin as they were probably brought to Australia or the States when they were little. Now you only see them every few years and it’s kindaweird when you do. But hey, at least you have a bed for whenever you’re visiting.
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