Dublin: 8 °C Wednesday 17 April, 2024
horny horny horny

This DoneDeal ad for a sex addict unicorn is frankly excellent

He’s… horny.

WHOA! A UNICORN for sale on DoneDeal! By Agnes in Cork! And for only €10,000 – the price of a family saloon?

First let’s take a look at it. What’s this thing got under the hood?

Hair colour: a shade of pure white that is so bright that it makes freshly fallen snow look grey in comparison,Native range: Northern Europe

Distinction(s): grey hooves, a single horn on its forehead, fleet of foot, does surprising amounts of damage, getting in multiple kicks and butts per turn.

Sadly, it’s not all fun and games. The unicorn has… personal issues.

Status: An awful degenerate: gambler, alcoholic, druggy, thief, womaniser and sex addict, a real disreputable, rambunctious character.Decapitation of my newborn snowman was the straw that broke the unicorn’s back. He must go!

Any other details?

Other attributes: is strong, wanders randomly, his horn has a chance to cure blindness, hallucination, confusion, stunning status effects and it considered magical tool, making good fodder to polypile to try for a magic marker.Ministry of Magic Classification: call for details

Hmm. I’m not quite convinced. Flexible on the price at all?

Will trade for Kawasaki ER-6f or Suzuki DL1000 V-Strom GT

Done. Excellent.

Fanpop Fanpop

Thanks Amy Molyneaux for the tip!

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