1. The evening news airs at 6.01pm
A minute past six and not a minute before!
2. In fact, we see nothing wrong with regularly pausing for the Angelus
“Then I said — ”
“One sec.”
[takesmoment at midday to look skyward and contemplate the big questions]
“Anyway, you were saying.”
3. Five-year-olds are referred to as “senior infants”
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We like to treat our young children like fancy Victorian statesmen, you see.
4. The national anthem is played in regional nightclubs across the country and nobody bats and eyelid
“We know you’d prefer to listen to Uptown Funk, but it’s time to rise for Amhrán na bhFiann, y’all!”
5. “I’ll ring Liveline about this” is a very valid threat
Not all countries have an outlet like leveling or a man like Joe Duffy to dispense justice.
AND YET WE TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.
6. The airport for the West of Ireland isn’t in Galway because…
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No comment.
7. We share the roads with cows
The roads don’t belong to us. We actually just share them with the cows.
8. They’re not soft drinks, they’re minerals
And to think we’re criticised for not placing enough of an emphasis on science.
9. Any weekend is good for a stag party, except Good Friday
Sorry, English stags!!!
