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Dublin: 8 °C Saturday 7 December, 2019
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The 13 unwritten rules of going to an Irish nightclub

A special experience.

Source: Imgur

1. Nobody arrives before the pubs close, unless you’re underage

Source: *sax

2. You can be as locked as you want going in, but play it cool when the bouncer stops you to say ‘good evening’

Source: Gif and caption - NewatSchool on Imgur

3. Got in? Great. The ‘coat pile’ is a totally acceptable security system

Source: komuNEWS

Sure the cloakroom is a rip-off.

4. Once you’re settled, you’ll need to ‘do a lap’ to see who’s there

Source: Kaloozer

Source: Gifsb

5. Jäger’s Law: The amount you’ve drunk is directly proportional to your skill and grace on the dancefloor…

Source: Bill Selak

… up to a point.

Source: Tumblr

6. Bar receipts should be scrunched up, put in your pocket, and forgotten until you’re at your most hungover and vulnerable the next day

7. If there is an attendant in the toilets, you must either (a) ignore them completely or (b) try pathetically to become their best mate

Source: © Stranger

8. It’s fine to set a mission for the night.

9. Everyone goes to the smoking area, even if they don’t smoke

It’s where all the best #banter happens.

Source: gruntzooki

10. Every dancefloor will contain one drunk couple who slow-dance whatever the music is. It’s the law.

Source: Imgur

11. And one man who is convinced that he is Roscommon’s answer to Young Jeezy

Even if they’re wearing a GAA jersey. Nay, ESPECIALLY.

12. That moment when the lights come on isn’t good for anyone

Source: Imgur

13. And finally: When it’s time to go, do not say goodbye. Just leave.

Source: IanMurphy

Source: Giphy

You can text your mates from the taxi.

More: The 9 Unwritten Rules Of The Irish Pub>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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