Dublin: 4 °C Thursday 25 April, 2024
99 Problems

9 important problems Irish people need to be addressed immediately

I got 99 problems…

1. The absolute hack of Netflix Ireland

It pales in comparison to proper Netflix and now you can’t even use a proxy server to get around it anymore. What are you supposed to watch? Bee Movie? A straight-to-Netflix film starring Kaley Cuoco?

Get it together, Netflix.

2. Not being able to top up your Leap Card online


Just add the money to my account immediately, for crying out loud. An absolute travesty in this day and age.

3. Having to pay a surcharge when you top-up your phone… but only in certain newsagents

Is there anything worse than asking for €20 phone credit and getting stung at the counter for a 50c surcharge? We think not.

4. Having to pay in excess of a tenner for cocktails


zoz hannah_mollie / Instagram hannah_mollie / Instagram / Instagram

5. Internet forms not understanding fadas or apostrophes

It’s 2016. Richard Branson is intent on sending people to space. Children are getting drones for Christmas. And yet internet forms still lose their minds if our names contain an apostophe or a fada.

Sort it, guys.

6. Wi-Fi acting the maggot on public transport

i.e. Bus Éireann and Irish Rail telling you that you have exceeded your Wi-Fi allowance after you’ve just arsed around on Twitter for 10 minutes.

Don’t be so stingy, guys.

CgTn8BbW4AAwGjR AmericanInGwy / Twitter AmericanInGwy / Twitter / Twitter

7. The ever diminishing size of tins of Roses and Quality Street


download (1) Charlotte Stacey Hook / Facebook Charlotte Stacey Hook / Facebook / Facebook

8. The Horizon Box not doing its job properly

Imagine if a teacher arrived into school and was like, “Eh, I’m not gonna teach today. In fact, I’m just going to watch The Night Manager. Hope that’s alright!” Would that be acceptable? Damn right, it wouldn’t.

So why should we, the Irish people, stand by and watch as the Horizon Box fails to fulfill its most basic duties? Honestly, we’re not demanding: we just want to be able to flick through channels at a reasonable pace and watch things that we’ve taped  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. The frankly extortionate price of Animal Bars


If ever there was a time for Michael Noonan to step in…

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