1. We carry around an important sack of useless shite and Very Important Documents every day, and somehow remain on top of our lives
It’s called a “handbag”.
Need a tissue or an emergency tampon? Just a second. Need last year’s P45? It’s in here somewhere. What about a mushy banana that’s on the verge of being inedible? Look no further.
We’re basically like Mary Poppins going around.
2. We have no qualms about pulling our tights up in public…
3. But we are also *experts* at getting undressed without removing a single item of clothing
4. Scoring goals that get us noticed by FIFA? Sure, no bother to us
5. Did we mention that we’re pretty damn good at rugby, too?
HON THE GALS.
6. We’re fierce fond of a bit of divilment
Willy straws, robbing supermarket trolleys, ripping the piss out of strangers on nights out — nobody is better craic than an Irish gal.
7. Despite always being really cold, we are somehow able to regulate our body temperature to the point where we can go out in bare legs in the middle of winter
*David Bowie’s Heroes starts playing*
8. To say nothing of the fact that we have to walk on COBBLESTONES while wearing HEELS
A potentially life-threatening activity and we undertake every single weekend. Not all superheroes wear capes, you know.
9. Furthermore, we aren’t afraid to admit defeat and take off our heels when it all gets too much
<3
10. We’re always up for a good auld DMC on a night out
Have something to get off your chest? A late-night DMC with an Irish gal will do you the world of good.
11. We’re so friendly/sound that we can form intense bonds with gals in the bathroom queue on a night out
Some of the best conversations we’ve ever had have been with complete strangers we met while queuing for the loo in Copper’s, tbh.
12. We have the best Whatsapp groups
Sure, some of what we say could potentially land us in prison, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.
13. We don’t let our naturally pale complexions stand in our way
Before applying fake tan…
After applying fake tan…
Proof that there’s no obstacle that can’t be overcome if you put your mind to it.
14. In short, we’re just deadly
Take a bow, ladies.
