IF YOU’RE IN a relationship and you don’t have children, chances are someone has asked you at some point when you’re planning on having them.
It’s pretty frustrating.
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Last week, Emily Bingham shared an attention-grabbing status explaining once and for all why you should think twice before asking the, “So, any plans for kids?” question.
Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family …before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works …before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking …just stop. Please stop.
You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.
“Whether you are a wanna be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbour, it’s absolutely none of your business,” she wrote.
Ask someone what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.
Bingham’s passionate status has struck a chord with Facebook users and has been shared over 54,000 times.
Bingham is not the first to implore people to stop asking the kids question.
A few weeks ago, model Chrissy Teigen outlined her own fertility struggles in a television interview and condemned people who ask that question.
I can’t imagine being that nosy, like, ‘When are the kids coming?’ because who knows what somebody’s going through, who knows if somebody’s struggling?
So anytime somebody asks me if I’m gonna have kids, I’m like, ‘One day you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who is really struggling and it’s going to be really hurtful to them.’ And I hate that. I hate it. Stop asking.
Hear, hear.
