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Dublin: 3 °C Wednesday 26 February, 2020

7 everyday actions which always end in humiliation

Seriously, guys. We should just stop doing these things.

1. Going for a high five

I SEEMS LIKE a great idea. So often, it just isn’t.

Whether you’re digging a dude’s music live in concert:


Or simply being a contestant on American Idol:


Probably best keep those hands down for safety’s sake.

2. Holding the door open for someone behind you

They’re always JUST SLIGHTLY too far away for it not to be weird.


3. Looking any way other than forward while walking

Eyes front, people. Eyes front.


4. Carrying a cup of takeaway coffee

Wearing new trousers today? Yes. This is your day.


5. Eating an orange

Seems simple, right? Two minutes later, you’re up to your wrists in the thing and it’s all down your front.

There is no dignified way to eat an orange.


6. Riding a bicycle

“It’s as easy as riding a bike,” they said.


And for luck:


7. Anything to do with glass doors

These were invented for the humiliation of mankind.


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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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