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cold in your kidneys

9 things only an Irish mammy can teach you

Are you sure that’s dry?

A NEW SURVEY has found that Ireland is the 20th best place in the world to be a mother.

Obviously here at we think that Irish mammies and the things they can teach you should be number one.

Here’s why:

1. She instinctively knows when a coat is needed

If an Irish mammy asks “are you not bringing a coat?”, you should bring a coat.

She is always up to speed on the weather forecast and has an almost preternatural talent for knowing when it’s going to rain.

She may not always approve of Jean’s get-ups, but the Irish mammy always pays heed to the weather

2. She can tell when something is truly dry

Only after it’s been given a good spin, dried on the line, aired on a clothes horse, fermented in the hot press and ironed within an inch of its life.

via GirlsOwnStore

3. Flat 7-up can cure all ailments

Give it a good shake to get all the bubbles out, and maybe even boil it. Cured.

Maybe add a bit of dry toast for good measure

4. She knows if ‘that cat’ is out or not

Irish mammies have a knack for sniffing out crafty cats who want to stay in for the night.

In the hot press, of all places (via Imgur)

via Imgur

5. You’ll never forget that the wooden spoon is an instrument of terror


6. She can tell you what you got in Home Ec in your second year Christmas exams

She’ll remember, even if you don’t.

Everything we know, we learned from the mammy, and Deirdre Madden (

7. If you sit on a damp wall you will get a cold in your kidneys

But wait! There is a solution…

8. She always knows what’s the best for your hair

Don’t dye your hair, and you’ll never get greys.
Eat your crusts, it’ll give you curls.
You only need a little bit of that dear shampoo*.

*same goes for expensive hand cream and household cleaning products of any description.

9. The Irish mammy always knows where that draught is coming from

You can learn where any errant breeze is coming from by watching an Irish mammy.

She’ll stalk through the house, putting her hand up to window cracks and underneath doors, determined to thwart the draught.

This dancing man is having the best workout ever>

“Have you no coat?”: It’s time to play Irish mammy bingo>

6 things an Irish mammy will always whisper>

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