TO TEST MY dog’s psychic abilities, I asked people on Twitter to send me several random questions they have about 2018.
I put these questions to my three-year-old dog, Spider. Not all of the questions had ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, so I had to change them around a little bit. I then put a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ bowl of food in front of him and asked my dad to release Spider each time I asked him a question out loud.
In his festive garb, the tiny oracle got to work and answered a series of questions for me. Here are the results. We can check back on them in a year to see if he’s really psychic.
1. Will Donald Trump be impeached in 2018?
I wrote a keyword to remind me what each question was and stuck it to the door so I wouldn’t mix up the answers at the end of this. Spider was very hesitant at first, because he’s quite accustomed to eating his bowl of food while lying in bed, but eventually he answered the question. Spider is confident that Donald Trump will not be impeached in 2018.
2. Will Conor McGregor die in 2018? Asked by Dearbáile.
Conor McGregor’s really losing the run of himself these days. Speeding, allegedly participating in brawls in pubs, etc. Dearbáile’s wondering if all of this could result in the MMA fighter’s death in 2018.
Conor McGregor fans will be happy to hear that my dog does not think death is on the cards.
3. Will Linda lose her virginity in 2018? Asked by Linda.
Looks like 2018 is your lucky year, Linda.
4. Will Catalonia achieve independence in 2018? Asked by Nicky.
Not this year. Sorry Nicky.
5. Will young Irish people be able to afford their own property at any point in 2018? Asked by Dro.
Unsurprisingly, no.
6. Is Kylie Jenner really pregnant? Asked by Eilis.
7. Will there be any updates on Metro North? Asked by Claire.
Well, what did you expect?
8. Will dogs revolt in 2018? Asked by Amy.
They are not quite ready yet. Maybe 2019.
9. Will Bitcoin collapse in the first part of 2018? Asked by Eimear.
Spider thinks it’s a no. It will drag out just a couple months longer.
10. Is Spider excited for Year of the Dog? Asked by Dearbhla.
This isn’t a prediction, but we might as well ask him while he’s here. It’s only polite.
Here is Spider enjoying his dinner from his regular bowl after this quick Q and A.
Good boy.
