Dublin: 9 °C Saturday 4 February, 2023
16 ways in which Ireland loses the run of itself on a sunny day
It’s just one day. But by God, it won’t be wasted.

1. Instagram is wall to wall sun photos. As if people need to confirm that everybody else is seeing this too

2. Public transport heaves with people desperate to get near water. Even a pond will do

3. Convertible owners look unreasonably smug

4. Washes are put on just to take advantage of The Drying

5. Every available patch of grass is littered with prostrate bodies

6. Lads can no longer stand to wear their shirts. Physically and emotionally

7. It feels almost illegal not to have an ice cream

8. See also: Cans, pints, cocktails, and alcoholic beverages of any kind

9. In an act of pure hope, the ’summer wardrobe’ is liberated from some dank cupboard or other

10. People start to wonder why they don’t have patio furniture. It just doesn’t make sense. We get such lovely weather

11. There is serious talk of firing up the barbecue. Or at least trying to locate a disposable one

12. After getting scalded last year and pledging to never leave the house without SPF 50 again, everyone just says “FECK IT BE GRAND”

13. People decide to wear things they’ve previously only worn in places like Spain or Portugal. For example, straw hats

14. Nobody brings a jacket, which is just crazy behaviour

15. People at work seethe at having to be inside, and consider pleading with their boss to let them out

16. And even before the sun goes down, the melodramatic mourning begins. That’s it for summer now. Sure it was great while it lasted. Aren’t we awful hard done by?

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