IT’S NOT KNOWN how or why, but at some point in the early 2000s it was decided that Abercrombie was The Thing in Ireland.
There’s now a huge store on Dublin’s College Green, but back then it was a real job to get it. The struggle!
1. All of a sudden everybody had an A&F hoodie, or was trying to get one
They were the perfect accompaniment to your fat man pants and fake Ugg boots from Penneys.
2. So you begged anyone going to the US to get you something
“Did you hear the Kellys down the road are going to New York in November?”
“Oh great! *produces shopping list*”
You’d take a t-shirt. A pair of socks. Anything. You’d even accept something with the tiny moose emblem on it, if you absolutely couldn’t have “ABERCROMBIE” plastered across your chest.
3. And you were dead jealous of anyone who got to go over
With their soft new hoodies and tracksuit bottoms. ISN’T IT WELL FOR YE.
4. Because you just needed to look like Marissa Cooper
That hoodie would make everyone think you were a carefree California gal, and not an awkward teenager from the West of Ireland. Surely it would!
5. When you finally obtained that precious hoodie, you wore it to death
You were like Marge Simpson with the Chanel suit. How could you work your one piece of Abercrombie into this outfit?
6. You thought the Fierce cologne was the most alluring scent a man could wear
It was pretty much petrol, but OK.
7. But when you visited an Abercrombie shop yourself you were overwhelmed
They were dark and loud and STANK of said Fierce. Basically an assault on the senses.
8. And the sales assistants were too smiley and modelesque
You had heard that you couldn’t work there unless you were really good looking, and it was intimidating as hell.
9. You were still excited to get a Polaroid with the buff specimen out front, though
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You had never seen a man so thoroughly waxed, plucked, and tanned before!
10. You made sure to bring the bag home too
You could put your PE gear in it and ensure that everyone knew you had been to an Abercrombie, once.
11. And if you got through customs, you were laughing
“Please don’t check my bag. Please don’t check my bag. I have enough hoodies and tracksuit bottoms in here to clothe a village. Please don’t check my bag.”
12. If you couldn’t get there yourself though, there was always the Irish attempt at Abercrombie
Farrell and Brown. Remember that?
13. Or the knock offs from the market
No one had to know.
