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oily sausage fingers

11 Instagram clichés we desperately hope to see the back of in 2017


IF YOU SPEND a lot of time on Instagram (and we spend a lot of time on Instagram) you start to notice patterns. And once you start noticing them, they’re everywhere.

In 2017, we hope to see a lot less of all of these…

1. ‘Breakfast in bed’ pics

All we can see is that coffee going cold and spilling all over the bed as you hold your camera over your head to get the perfect shot. Think of your lovely sheets!

2. Any and all reference to teatoxes

What this is telling us is that you are a) getting a bit of money for this, fair play and b) using the bathroom with great regularity. Is that something you really want everyone to know?

3. And creepy teeth whitener photos

Natural. Unposed. Totally not an ad guys. No ad here.

4. Any and all pictures taken at the gym

If you’re at the gym and you don’t tell anyone you’re at the gym, did you even go at all?

5. ‘Sleeping’ photos

There is no sleep happening here. Lies, lies and more lies.

6. Post-manicure oily sausage fingers

Something about this is unsettling. Perhaps it is the resemblance to oily, oily sausages?

7. Artfully arranged desk shots

No one actually works there, do they? That isn’t what being at work looks like.
*stares forlornly at the crumpled pile of papers, notebooks and assorted tat on own desk*

8. Mysterious pictures of designer shopping bags/boxes

If you’re going to show off, show off the actual thing inside the bag. Do it right.

9. This

Partly because vom, and partly because the awkward hand reaching back freaks us out a whole bunch.

10. Severely unappetising food photos

We could never be mad at a delicious food porn photo… but no food (at least we think that’s food) deserves this. Surely this is easy to grasp?

11. And gossip blogger Perez Hilton commenting on every single photo posted by every single celebrity

Celebrity Big Brother Launch 2015 - Hertfordshire PA Archive / PA Images PA Archive / PA Images / PA Images

You might remember him from his disastrous stint on Celebrity Big Brother – nowadays, he mostly hangs out in the comments on every celebrity’s Instagram photos. Even if you don’t follow him yourself, he’s there. Ingratiating himself.

perez Twitter / @scouserachel Twitter / @scouserachel / @scouserachel

For the good of our health and yours, Perez. Cease.

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