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Dublin: 12 °C Friday 24 May, 2019
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17 most annoying things about growing up in the country

The Irish countryside would really get on your nerves, if you didn’t love it so much.

THE IRISH COUNTRYSIDE is great and everything but mother of God some things really would get on your nerves at times!

Yea, yea there’s all the ‘lovely scenery’ and ‘friendly neighbours’ but there’s a tonne of other stuff that’s really annoying about the country…

1. Having to get up ridiculously early

Doesn’t matter if you’ve nothing to do, everyone gets up at the crack of dawn or else your parents kick you out of the bed.

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2. Living a million miles away from your friends

‘Mammy mammy can I have a lift?’

3. Stepping in cow dung

That dreaded moment – you’re running through the field, you feel the soft landing and then there are those depressing seconds as you look down to confirm the inevitable.

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4. Having to wait days on your Mammy to do the shopping

‘There’s no milk … There are no sweets left … I want pizza!’

‘Well you’ll have to wait until I go to the town on Thursday.’

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5. Getting splashed by a tyre when covering the silage pit

You bust your gut wheeling a tyre up the whole pit and then some big bully of a man flings one that lands beside you and drenches you in tyre water. Story of my life!

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6. Being terrified by the noises at night

‘What was that? And that? And that!?’

Flickr/JameJordan

7. Crashing into a fellow lunatic on a pedal tractor

Like all seven-year-olds I had a rather big fleet of machinery.

Facebook/Irish Farm’n Craic

8. Falling into a pile of nettles

The arch enemy of all country children. Many a football is lost in this ocean of pain.

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9. Roads being closed for the rally

It’s hard enough to go places without them closing the roads too!

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10. Cows breaking out

MAYDAY MAYDAY!

Flickr/Joshua Wilters

11. Broadband is just a pipe dream

What’s a YouTube?

Flickr/partiallyblind

12. Pretending to be interested in ‘good growth’ when talking to farmers

Ugh, having to make small talk with farmers is the worst! Weather this, good growth that…

Facebook/Irish Farm’n Craic

13. Getting a shock from the electric fence

Annoying but also brilliant when you trick your city-slicker friends into touching it.

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14. Being made make tea for random strangers that are ‘doing a bit of work for you father’

Between digger men, silage men, the postman, the milkman, the AI man, the builder, the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker…

Flickr/Sarah-Rose

15. Getting tripped up by the dog

The only man, woman, or beast more excited about running down a hill than a child is a dog – destined to end in mayhem.

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16. Being stuck behind tractors when you’re in a rush

Get out of the way!

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17. When you finally move away you realise you know nothing about the world

‘Baby octopus!? You’re telling me there are people in Ireland who eat baby octopus!?’

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Actually on second thoughts, these might actually be 17 things that make growing up in the country great.

8 things everyone does in someone else’s bathroom>

Here it is… a list of Ireland’s best beer gardens*>

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