WHEN IT COMES to ASMR, you either get it or you don’t.
End of story.
For those of you who may not be in the know, ASMR – also known as autonomous sensory meridian response – is an experience characterised by intense tingling in the scalp which transitions via the neck to the upper spine.
It is brought on by certain sounds and tones like pen-tapping or hushed voices, also known as ASMR triggers, and YouTube is awash with videos, created by individuals known as ASMRtists, which are aimed at people who experience the ASMR tingle.
If this sounds completely absurd, then it’s very likely you aren’t susceptible to the whole ASMR thing, and feel mildly suspicious or vaguely disgusted by the description.
And if it sounds like utter bliss, it’s very likely you are a long-time subscriber to a litany of ASMR channels, and have go-to videos which you use to unwind after a long day.
If you experience ASMR, you have probably endured awkward conversations where you attempt to justify your interest in watching fake librarians whisper at invisible individuals while gently stamping books with dust jackets.
Christ knows, it’s not easy, and that’s not even the half of it.
Here are just some things that ASMR devotees will know all too well.
1. You know you sound cracked.
Look, there’s no beating about the bush here; telling someone you unwind and fall asleep by listening to a fake eye exam takes some amount of courage.
It makes sense in your head, but the minute you start saying it out loud, you hear what they hear, and start backtracking like a good thing.
2. Some videos give ASMR a bad name.
If you’re unfamiliar with ASMR and stumble across a video purporting to be one, but it sounds vaguely like an awkward amateur porn voiceover, you’ve wandered into the arena that gives ASMR devotees a bad name.
We’ve absolutely no interest in your microphone licking, thank you.
3. You have go-to videos when you can’t sleep.
It’s either one you stumbled across at random or an offering from your favourite ASMRtist, but within minutes of pressing play you’re fast asleep.
Some of the most popular videos on YouTube include eye examinations, hotel check-ins and hairdressing appointments. Like we said, you either get it or you don’t.
4. Some ASMRtists have it and some don’t.
The greatest ASMR YouTubers are the ones who experience ASMR themselves, and the worst are the ones who adopt a bizarre ‘sexy’ voice when creating a video.
Quick note, there is nothing more disturbing than an ASMR video with any intention other than to allow the viewer a good snooze.
5. Putting YouTube on autoplay is a rookie move.
Falling asleep to the sound of running water is all good. Being abruptly woken up to the sound of incessant keyboard tapping, or creepy voices is not.
Die-hard devotees know this. People new to the ASMR thing learn the hard way.
corq / Twitter
corq / Twitter / Twitter
6. You still remember the moment you realised you experience ASMR.
Whether it was an experience in childhood like only being able to fall asleep to the sound of the hoover or an experimental wander through ASMR’S YouTube community, you generally remember the first time you experienced something known as a ‘mind massage’.
7. You have toyed with the idea of creating your own videos.
You know what it takes to relax, and with some of these charlatan ASMRtists out here ruining things for everyone, it’s high time you had a hand in contributing to the community.
But then you remember how scarlet you felt telling people you even watch these videos, so maybe you’re not quite ready to put yourself in front of the camera just yet.
Agnieška a.k.a. GuT / Twitter
Agnieška a.k.a. GuT / Twitter / Twitter
8. Your significant other is either for you or against you.
As ASMR tends to be a bedtime ritual for many people, it’s not surprising that partners regularly hear the latest offering from a tried and tested ASMRtist, whether they want to or not.
If they’re all for it, good, but if they’re vaguely perplexed by the whole notion, you’ve likely heard yourself pleading for just four more minutes of the library vid.
