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The 11 most awkward moments of the Irish night out

From least to most mortifying.

NIGHTS OUT ARE great and all. But they come with their share of mortification.

Here’s the worst of it, ranked in order:

11. Running into someone you KIND OF know

Oh look, there’s Gráinne from accounts. You can’t ignore her. Do you say hello? Do you go for the kiss on the cheek? Do you make polite conversation? If so, for how long?

AAAAAAAARGH.

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10. Being introduced to someone, and not hearing their name over the music

Then after you’ve asked them to repeat it four or five times, giving up and just pretending. “Ah, great, lovely to meet you.”

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9. Shouting over the music, and then suddenly it goes quiet

AND SO THEN I SAID TO MY BOSS, YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A JUMPED-UP LITTLE BAAaaaaaahem.

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8. Forgetting whether you’ve met someone before

And having to awkwardly cover it up in conversation. “So how’s work going? You still in… that same place?”

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7. Meeting your ex

Wow, it’s… so great to see you! We should really catch up sometime. That would be LOVELY. How long do we have to talk to each other for?

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6. Those conversations where neither person can hear the other

And you’re just shouting into the void, or nodding along with whatever the other person is yelling.

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5. Getting stuck in a conversation with someone who’s completely off their face

And not being able to escape, even though they aren’t making any sense

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4. Becoming embroiled in a ’rounds’ nightmare

Someone you hardly know has bought you a drink, so you need to get them back, but everyone else is just finishing too, AND you were in another round with your mates. WHAT TO DO?

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3. Getting intimate with someone you’ve met, just as the bright lights come on

Oh my, is that… so my hand was… oh dear Jesus.

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2. Accidentally spilling a drink all down someone

Then they have to pretend that it’s OK, but you know it’s really not because they’ve got Guinness all down their dress, and you offer to buy them a drink, but they say no, and you don’t know if they’re just being polite, and this is a NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH YOU CANNOT WAKE UP.

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1. Meeting the toilet attendant

How’s it going? Yeah, yeah, great. Sound. Nice to meet you. Thanks a mill buddy.

*take more hand towels than you’d get through in ten years at home, guiltily drop €2 into bowl, feel deeply uncomfortable*

Flickr/© Stranger

What have we missed? Reveal your mortification in the comments…

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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