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9 bad habits every messy person has perfected

Bless this mess.

BEING MESSY IS not something that’s generally celebrated, but messy people will argue that it’s just the way they are. 

Of course, there’s a big difference between ‘messy’ and outright ‘dirty’. Even the messiest of messy people will know that personal hygiene and safety is number one, but still, they work hard to cultivate a lifestyle that suits their predisposition.

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Never making the bed


Some people like the look of a freshly made bed. You can’t see the logic of it when you’ll be getting back in again in the evening. Why would you bother?

‘The chair’

Every untidy person has ‘the chair’. The one that’s not for sitting on, but for balancing a pile of clothes, books, important documents, underwear…

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Never play Jenga with a messy person. They will always win, because of their innate talent for extracting things from their mess piles without tipping it all over.

Only buying clothes that won’t show stains

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There’s a whole host of colours you actively avoid because of the dangers of curry/spaghetti bolognese/anything with ketchup.

Leaving dirty dishes to ‘soak’

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It helps soften up the dirt. Or something. (It helps you go off and do more important things, like sitting down.)

‘My car, my rules’

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Every person who wishes to sit in the back seat of your car must first clear a path through the wasteland of reusable shopping bags, hoodies, parking tickets and empty soft drinks bottles.

Anyone who complains must not actually want a lift, right?

Doing One Big Clean, then leaving it for months

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You did a Big Clean, spent ages getting everything perfect, and THE HOUSE DIDN’T STAY CLEAN. There’s no point doing anything else until it gets bad enough to do the next one.

Getting in an advance warning

“Oh, my room’s a bit messy.” “The living room isn’t looking the best.”

People say this all the time about their near-spotless homes, but you truly wish to prepare them for seeing this.

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Now they can’t say ANYTHING.

The sniff test

It’s often hard to tell if the clothes in your mess pile are dirty or clean, so your nose has become a finely-tuned barometer of cleanliness.

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Eau de BO. *throws in ‘dirty’ pile*

Ignoring the dress code

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‘Black tie’? But you are unable to be fancy!

Your bra straps are showing. Your tie always comes loose. Your shirt always tucks itself out again. ’Messy bun’ hairstyles are just how your hair goes.

Sorry, not sorry.

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